


Our Place

by Snow_White_9999



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Blood and Violence, Demons becoming human, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Other, Romance, They love each other but as friends?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snow_White_9999/pseuds/Snow_White_9999
Summary: After the Armageddon't, Aziraphale and Crowley are now free, so they want to move on with life by becoming a bit more attached to human world... But something in their behaviour can't be forgiven, and Crowley... Becomes a human as a result! What are they going to do now?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 3





	Our Place

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terrified right now. I wrote this fic MORE THAN A YEAR AGO and because I don't have a Beta Reader, I never dared to post it... But lately I thought "why not?" That's the main purpose of writing, isn't it? Fanfics need to be read.
> 
> I'm afraid it's been such a long time that I barely remember parts of the story or the ending, but I'm not into sad endings so I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> And, apart from the lack of a beta reader, English is not my mother tongue so for me it would be a real HONOUR if you find a mistake and please, TELL ME so I can fix it. If nobody tells me, I'll keep making the same mistakes!
> 
> And that's all so... Oh yeah! I tried to make the characters as similar to the original ones as possible, so I hope to have nailed it!

Aziraphale’s eyes scanned the place. They were still in the Ritz’s restaurant, after having saved the world from the _Armageddon’t_. Crowley looked at him at the same time. His friend had been eating really excited, and suddenly, he was spacing out. Too much, maybe, for what was normal in him.

“What’s wrong, angel?” Crowley mumbled, drinking a bit more of his champagne.

“No, it’s nothing, I was just… thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well… Look at this place.” Sighed the angel. “It’s stunning, calm, beautiful, isn’t it? It’s… lovely.”

“Yeah, I understood that thing around a decade ago. This is not our first visit to this restaurant. It’s the only one of its species around here.”

“That is the point, Crowley.” Nodded Aziraphale. His friend looked at him like if his head was about to rotate 360 degrees.

“What point?”

“The restaurant.” Explained he. “This is almost the only place in London with this atmosphere, this…”

“… Posh air?”

“No, no, not posh… well, maybe a little bit, yes.” The angel’s eyes checked again the place. “But that is not what I mean. I… I want more places like this one.”

“Well, there are more Ritz hotels here in London, I guess. We can go to one of those, I don’t know… Tomorrow?” The angel snapped his fingers, calling his attention, and also the waiter’s, but the blonde man rejected him soon after. His eyes turned to Crowley’s sunglasses.

“I want a restaurant. I mean, I want to _run_ one. My own restaurant.” He smiled, innocently. Crowley got mouth-opened, but he closed it in a hurry. He crossed his arms, thinking about his friend’s idea.

“Well… It isn’t a bad idea at all. But can I ask why?”

“Because I don’t feel good by stealing someone’s table every time we want to eat something here, Crowley. That’s mean because, they could… I don’t know, be thinking about doing something special, but they can’t, because we are in their place now.”

“But this was your idea, in the first place.” Groaned the demon. “I don’t even eat most of the times. This is all for you.” The angel’s eyes showed joy.

“Thank you for your kindness then, my dear.” Mumbled, getting serious again. “But I think it’s a great idea. It’s fantastic! A good place, to eat and drink delicious food, an almost divine one, but way cheaper.”

Even against his will, the demon thought about it for a brief moment. They always paid for the food because of the angel’s sense of justice, and he had also an expensive taste… But, if he had his own restaurant, they could eat for free anytime.

The part of ‘for free’ got stuck in his head during a whole minute. Meanwhile, Aziraphale looked at him, waiting for his opinion. It could seem that Crowley’s feelings were kind of secondary for him, but it was just the opposite. He almost _needed_ his approval to feel confident to open his own restaurant.

“Yeah… I like it.” Smiled then, for his friend’s happiness. “I definitely see it. I agree. If I were you, I would do it, angel. Anyway, it will be more comfortable for us to drink in a restaurant instead of your bookshop’s backroom.”

“Yes! It is settled then! I will run my own restaurant.” Smiled Aziraphale. The snake eyes of the demon looked at him over his sunglasses. When the angel was that excited, he could swear he could even see his true self, floating as a brilliant aura of divine happiness around him. “And it will be called…” Surprisingly, Aziraphale’s gaze turned to him. “‘Our place’”.

“‘Our place’? sounds good.” The angel agreed with him.

“It’s like a double meaning. Do you remember? Our side, you and I against our… you know. Superiors.” Pointed him, with his finger up to the sky. The demon frowned, asking silently.

“‘Our side’ turned to ‘Our place’? Wow, that’s… An honour. Really.” Recognised he. “I like it more now. It will be…” Taking his glass up, he waited patiently for his friend to imitate him. Then they toasted. “ _Our place_.”

“For _Our place_.” Smiled the angel.

They drank the champagne with a smile.

Sadly, the demon couldn’t see the idea the angel had due to his schedule. Because of his disobedience, Lucifer himself made him go to Germany, to tempt some people. They even gave him a partner –a guardian– to check his movements.

He felt like a kid, although he had never been one.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale, knowing his friend’s situation, started by creating a trademark for the place. There was a lot to do, but luckily, he was really good with numbers and paperwork. He got Crowley’s presence just for one thing: selecting the staff. But it wasn’t so bad, he didn’t need him so badly, to start.

Crowley parked in front of the restaurant on that cloudy morning to check its appearance. Its external appearance was clear, more or less modern, with light colours and golden letters. The front door was decorated with two columns, just like the Heavens’ Gate used to be up there. He couldn’t avoid to feel a bit uncomfortable, but at the same time, happy with the name of the restaurant. The angel had the idea of running a bookshop because of his obsession with books, but that place? That place was because of _them_. More or less, at least. The best thing of that situation was the acceptance from the angel about their relationship.

Before crossing the road, he looked into the car’s backseat, and took a package. It was a small present for his friend from Germany.

Ignoring the sign of CLOSED, he got in the restaurant.

“Wow.” Mumbled to himself, pretty impressed. Almost immediately, Aziraphale ran into his friend, smiling like if it was a sunny day. “Aziraphale! This place is amazing.”

“Do you like it?” Feeling about to burst in joy, the angel looked around them.

It was kind of similar to the Ritz’s restaurant, but way… Brighter. The tones were clear and warm, the place was big and wide, and the chairs had white and fluffy cushions. In the ceiling, there were not only spider lamps, but also golden garlands. The back walls had light curtains, creating the illusion of being in an even bigger place. The floor was divided into two sections: one was higher than the other one. The higher, thought Crowley, would be for reservations or special events. Round tables were disposed comfortably, and were already prepared with silver cutlery.

And, in the middle of the better section, the higher one, ensuring a good view, there was a different table. A smaller one, with two golden chairs. Their future reunion spot. Subtle as a big neon arrow in the night.

“I am so, so…” The angel was worried about sinning of pride, so he rubbed his hands nervously. Smirking, the demon slid his sunglasses over his nose to look at his eyes directly.

“Proud? It’s not a sin, don’t worry. A bit of pride doesn’t hurt anybody. Or that’s what they say. Oh, by the way.” He handed him the package like it was normal, but the angel took it with surprise. “A present for the great opening.” Aziraphale’s eyes sparkled longingly.

“Thank you! What is it?”

“Excuse me. “A young woman interrupted from a table not far from the entrance. It seemed that it was the place where the interviews were going to take place, or that is what the demon thought. “Can we… start now?”

“Yes! Oh, I’m so sorry, my lady, yes. This is the man we were waiting for, Mr Crowley.” The demon smiled at her. She smiled back.

 _Oh my, the boss’ boyfriend_ , she thought. The two men sat down in front of her, leaving Aziraphale the package over his legs, to open it later.

“Well” Started he, excited but nervous at the same time. “Miss Jennifer, we can start now.”

After checking the lady’s experience and asking some questions, the angel shook her hand and welcomed her to the family. Jennifer gave them her size for the uniform, and then left the restaurant. Crowley then sat down again at the table, taking his sunglasses off. When he looked at the angel with his snake eyes, the other man lost part of his confidence for a moment.

“Tell me, angel, am I here just to check if your future waiters are a bunch of liars? Or is it just my imagination?”

“You got me.” He recognised. “I was worried because, well, you know, I am not used to work with humans, and I know…” The angel lowered his voice, whispering with caution. “… That they can be bad people. But I don’t know how to distinguish when they are lying, or even if they are using sarcasm.” Crowley smiled at the angel’s funny face.

“Okay, I understand. She seemed a good person to me, not a liar, not a burglar… I approve… Jennifer.” Nodded, reading the name of the lady from her curriculum.

Was in that moment when Aziraphale remembered the gift. During the interview, he ended putting it on the table, and was still there. He took it with cherish, and opened it. Crowley watched with ultimate satisfaction the face of his friend.

“A book of German desserts! Oh! I love it!” He screamed.

“The best of the best. It is a classical one, I found it on a castle, in an old man’s library. He didn’t notice when… well, we can say I didn’t steal it. I swear.”

But the angel wasn’t listening, he was too entertained reading the recipes. With that wonderful help, he now just needed a good chef. He looked at Crowley with a big smile on his face.

“Thank you so much, dear.” He sighed, full of appreciation. “You are the best friend an angel can have.” Proud of himself, the demon smirked.

“I know, angel. I know.”

The interviews took place during all day, and as soon as the sunset came, they really closed the soon–to–be–opened restaurant, and got into Crowley’s car. Surprisingly, while the angel caressed the book with a delightful sigh, the demon drove slow for the streets. Indeed, he was respecting the speed limit. When Aziraphale noticed about that, he looked at his right.

“Is everything okay, Crowley?”

“Yes, why do you ask that?”

“Well, nothing important, really, I was just wondering why can I see the people of the street. You are driving at… normal speed.”

“Snail speed is a must when you have your hands busy, angel. Don’t you think so?”

The angel looked at his new book, smiling, and sighing again.

“Yes, of course. I am very surprised, Crowley. You are way different today, but… it’s nice.”

“Thank you, I guess.”

The car stopped roughly in front of the angel’s bookshop. It couldn’t be all good, he thought. Before getting out of the car, the demon lifted his hand to say something.

“Wait, there is… something more I have to tell you.”

“Yes, sure. What is it?” It was Crowley’s moment to sigh.

“I have a new… it’s not exactly a companion but a guard, a dog, an arse-biting son of a…”

“I see, I see.” The angel looked at his shop, feeling a bit sad. “Your superiors want to”

“Suck my bollocks because of my ‘good actions lately’, yes.” Ended he. “I can’t be seen so close to you during a couple of, I don’t know, decades, maybe less, if I play my cards right. I’ll go at your restaurant as much as I can, angel, but I can’t promise you that we will do as always.”

No more wine in his bookshop, he though. No more dinners together, nor walks for Saint James’s Park. The angel sighed, losing what was left of his happiness. His hands pressed the book’s cover with sadness.

“So, we have to fake our distance some years, I guess. It will be like in old times.”

“Don’t look so sad, please.” Groaned the demon. “We are friends, and I don’t want you to feel bad because of my good actions.”

“They were not just your good actions, Crowley, I did bad things too, and I haven’t received any big punishment yet. Aside the fire thing.” The demon remembered that thing, because he got into that fire column, to start. “But even if this is unfair to you, or to us, or whatever… I’ll be patient.” He smiled. “I will wait. You don’t have to push yourself into dangerous situations for me, Crowley. Not anymore.”

The angel looked at him with sorrow in his expression. Even if the demon could manage to go to see him, it would be a potential risk to his existence. And he didn’t want to put Crowley into that kind of situations.

“I will see you soon, Aziraphale.” He promised. “They don’t know that you run a restaurant, so I will be able to go there to eat, to have dinner, whatever I want.” Mumbled he. “And we will be able to do things together. Not the same as always, but things in general, you know.”

“Okay. The opening will be in three days, I have all the waiters, and the chefs, and I will give Maurice this book, well, an English version of it, so he can use… these desserts. Sorry. I am a bit nervous about the situation, after all.”

The snake eyes followed the angel’s hands as they caressed the book’s cover nervously. The angel was never good at taking bad news. And he had given him a bad one.

“I like the black chocolate cake. Page 366.” Mumbled Crowley, grabbing the Bentley’s steering wheel with contained anger. “We can try it… The opening day?”

The sad smile on the angel’s face made him sigh again. That felt way worse than the Armageddon’t of last month.

“Of course. We will try it then. Good night, Crowley.” Mumbled, opening the car’s door. “Thanks for the peaceful ride.”

“Good night, angel.”

His eyes didn’t stop following him, even after he went into the bookshop. It was a crappy situation, but that was better than facing again his superior’s anger.

“Holy shit.” He cursed, turning the radio on.

_Love of my life, you’ve hurt me_

He turned the radio off while putting a funny face.

“I hate his sad smiles, fucking angel’s fucking supposed undying happiness, that’s a shitty lie. They get sad! Fuck!”

The Bentley roared while started to run too fast for London’s streets.

+++

The great opening day came and the restaurant was almost full. A lot of people was sitting in the tables, and the waiters moved around with ability with their trays. The headwaiter accompanied the customers through the place with a lovely smile.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the restaurant, Aziraphale sighed four times in a row. He couldn’t stop watching his pocket watch every few seconds. Crowley was late. Well, he wasn’t exactly _late_ , because he had been there early in the morning, but he had to go just before the opening time. His mind went back to the eight o’clock with another sigh.

**Flashback**

Before the big moment, the big opening, the big event of their lives, – or at least, Aziraphale’s – the staff had a small reunion inside the kitchen. Eight waiters, four cooks, the headwaiter, the receptionist and two dishwashers looked at him. They were all dressed in white, except for the angel, with his typical beige cardigan, and the headwaiter, dressed completely in black. His necktie was the only different element, from an almost divine – and shiny – white.

Really nervous, the angel clapped a bit so everybody looked at him. Then, he smiled with emotion.

“I wish I could express my emotion for this day. This is a dream come true, and my biggest wish is for everything to go correctly. And now, I want to cheer you up. You are the best, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t forget that, okay? And about the customers… Try to be lovely. Treat them as if they were a real treasure, the most precious creatures of creation of God. Oh Lord, this is so exciting! I can’t breathe properly!”

The staff of the restaurant already knew his boss was a bit _special_ with his own emotions, but they couldn’t avoid to look at each other, nervously. His first speech was really weird.

As a saviour, – for them, at least – somebody came right when the speech was taking an exhausting turn. From the exit to the alley behind the restaurant appeared a figure with red hair, black glasses, and black clothes. The angel turned around and smiled as a child as soon as his eyes looked at Crowley’s sunglasses.

“Good morning, everybody. How are you doing?” Smiled, with a bunch of flowers over his shoulder, grasped by his left hand.

“Crowley! Good morning! Oh dear, I am so glad to see you, I was… trying… to cheer the people up for this, uh, first day of work. And I think I wasn’t doing it so good.”

“I know, I was listening. You are too cryptic, angel.” The blonde turned again and looked at his people. Surprisingly, most of them seemed to agree with the demon’s words. “Let me try. Here, this is a present for the opening.”

Aziraphale took the bouquet with a relieved smile. He loved white tulips. The staff looked at each other with less surprise than the first time they saw the couple. _Love_ , they thought.

“Okay, people. This is easy, I know most of you have done it before. We are in a place where people eat, aren’t we? All you have to do then, is to treat customers as visitors in your own house. Smile, be polite, and all that shit to make people feel comfortable. This way, you will also be rewarded with better tips, more money, and you know. You will make this angel happy,” pointed the demon. Aziraphale waved them with a happy smile, hugging his flowers. “and with it, you will might make God happy. And believe me, you want your God to be a happy one. Understood?”

“Yes!” The staff showed his happiness with a bunch of excited smiles. The demon turned to Aziraphale with a smirk.

“You see? It’s easier this way. To offer the other cheek sounds weird, angel.”

“Thank you so much, Crowley, thank G… I mean, I am really glad for having you to help me. I didn’t know what to say.”

“Well, now you know it.”

Aziraphale gave his flowers to the headwaiter.

“Treat them with love, Markus. This bouquet is really big so, can you add one flower to each of the vases of the lounge? Thank you.”

With a wave, the demon dispatched the staff, and got closer to the angel. Then he took off his sunglasses, lowering his voice.

“Aziraphale, we need to talk.”

“Yes, Crowley?” The look in the snake eyes vanished his smile. “Oh, no…”

“Don’t look so scared, I’m not dying. I’m afraid that I have to go to Edinburgh this morning for a little temptation.” Explained he. “But don’t worry, it will be something fast, but I can’t delay it, I have that stupid demon outside, in the car.”

“In the car?!”

“Don’t worry, angel, the car is two streets away, she won’t know I have been here.” The demon looked around then, interested. “Neither I could imagine myself in a kitchen like this one.”

“This is a normal and almost perfect kitchen, demon.” mumbled the angel, a bit upset. The redhead put his eyes blank. “You have things to do, aren’t you? Then go. Here, I will show you the way. This way.”

Crowley put his hands inside his pockets with a sigh, after putting his glasses on again. Aziraphale opened the door to him, so he could go faster.

“I will be here to have lunch with you, okay? I need to take advantage of the clean grill before it makes all the food taste like shit.”

“Have a safe trip.” Whispered while he was heading the alley. “And please, watch out with the temptations you do. I didn’t receive any letter to go to Edinburgh, so I won’t be there to avoid the dangers you can provoke.”

“Then I’ll tell you if I find another angel trying to destroy my evil plans to gain souls.” He said as a goodbye, walking away.

The angel looked the demon’s back as he left the alley. After closing the door, the headwaiter found him looking at the restaurant’s schedule.

“Five flowers were left over.” Explained he, with the bouquet in his hands. “The rest are one in each table.”

“Oh, thank you. Did you put one in my table?”

“Yes.”

“Then put the others with their sister there. They could be my only companion today.”

“Mr Crowley can’t come today? But he was here.”

The angel nodded with doubt. He didn’t know.

“Maybe, who knows. Thank you, Markus.”

The headwaiter left the kitchen again, listening a new sigh from his boss’ side.

**End of the flashback**

When Crowley finally left the other demon at his place –luckily, they didn’t have to share his apartment– and headed to the restaurant, it was almost tea time. He really wanted to have lunch with his friend, but sadly, it would be a quick snack.

He parked behind the restaurant, and walked to the front door. Markus looked at him as soon as he came into the restaurant. But another person noticed his arrival.

“Crowley.” Mumbled the angel, smiling with relief. He lifted his hand to be seen, and the demon waved his friend back while Markus, a bit angry for an unknown reason to him, was taking his time to check his name on the list.

“You know I will always be in the list, don’t you? Don’t worry, I know where to go.”

“Okay Mr Crowley.” Nodded the human.

Crowley sat down in the other golden chair with a light moan.

“Holy fuck, what a trip. Can’t feel my butt.”

“Too many hours on a car, you should be used to it. And don’t speak like that, Crowley.” Nagged the angel. “Look around us. There are children here.”

“Well, that’s what you wanted, didn’t you? To bring happiness and delicious food to anybody. Like the Ritz’s, but cheaper. And that includes children.”

“Yes, of course. I feel pleased with the view, look at this place. It is full with happy humans.”

“Unaware of how lucky they are.” Whispered the demon, looking at his friend with a smirk. “But I am. And I am hungry, what should I eat?”

“Oh, I was prepared for this moment, my dear.”

The angel waved then to one of the waiters, who nodded at him before getting into the kitchen. The demon waited patiently. It seemed that his friend had something in mind.

He looked down to his German black chocolate cake when the waiter left the dish in front of him. Aziraphale wrinkled his nose with fun.

“I’m afraid this is a _must_ for you. I have tried all the menu dishes before the great opening but the Demonic cake, but our first customers have said it is delicious. Even tempting.”

“‘Demonic cake’? Did you name it demonic cake?” The demon laughed, really impressed with the name of the dessert. Surprisingly, the angel had another type of cake, a cheese one, and a cup of tea. He used the spoon to try a bit. “Oh fuck, this cake tastes like… heaven.”

It was the turn for Aziraphale to laugh a bit.

“Really? Do you like it?” Asked, eating his cheesecake. The demon agreed with a nod. With his spoon, he took a bit more of the cake to offer it to him.

“Try it.”

“What? No, I can’t, it is a demonic cake.”

“It’s just a name, you did name it. C’mon angel, open your angelic mouth.” Aziraphale leant back when he saw the spoon getting closer.

“No, it is your food, Crowley.” Mumbled nervously.

“It’s a snack, angel. Open your mouth.”

“No, I have a cheesecake here, can’t you see it?”

“I can see it, okay? And I am offering you this chocolate bite anyway. Open, your, stupid, mouth, or I’ll open it.”

Aziraphale looked a bit offended at first, but finally, he opened his mouth and tried the cake.

The headwaiter looked at them feeling really, really embarrassed. The last part of their kind–of–disagreement was so loud, that almost half of the lounge did hear them. When the angel moaned with joy, pleased with the chocolate cake, and the demon smirked, he sighed.

They are way too weird, he thought. _Married idiots_.

Back at the table, the angel tried to get the bite back by taking a bit of his cheesecake. The demon denied with emphasis.

“No, never.”

“Crowley…”

“I can’t do that, Aziraphale.”

“Why not?” Asked the angel, pushing his spoon towards his friend’s face. “I tried your cake, didn’t I?”

“I know, but chocolate is better than cheese.”

“I love cheese, and this one is delightful.”

“No, is not, it’s a stupid cheese.”

“Open your mouth, Crowley.” He ordered.

“Never, and you can’t force me to”

But the angel denied his petition and his complains about it. He even opened his own mouth in an attempt for his friend to imitate him, but without success. A waitress brought more tea to the table.

“I’m sorry for saying this, boss, but… some customers are… feeling a bit uncomfortable.” Both men looked at her with curiosity. She felt embarrassed herself for the scrutiny. “Don’t misunderstand me, it’s good to be so affectionate, but it’s really, um…”

“‘Affectionate’?” In the exact moment Aziraphale understood what his waitress was trying to say, his faced turned red. On the other hand, the demon smirked diabolically. He considered that as a good moment to try the cheesecake, so he ate the offered bite, still floating in front of his mouth. The angel looked at him as if he had two heads. “Crowley!”

“What?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t you want me to try your stupid cake?”

“But! You know what I am talking about! You started it all with your tempting… stupid cake!”

“You ordered that cake, angel. And you are the one attracting attention.”

The waitress didn’t want to stay there any longer, so she just walked away, with her cheeks fluttered. Meanwhile, in the table, the angel lowered his head, feeling embarrassed. The demon crossed his arms, looking around them. He was, as always, wearing his sunglasses, but that were enough to make people around stop looking at them. He smirked again, very proud.

“Yeah, that’s what I like about being a demon.”

“Oh, you mean chaos? You evil creature. What an embarrassment.”

“Why? You know what humans say nowadays, love is love, and all that stuff. If they stop coming after this, angel, they are not worthy of the heaven you offer to them.”

“Oh.” The angel calmed his posture, smiling a bit. “You know how to speak, dammit.”

Crowley smiled again while Aziraphale covered his mouth because of his expression.

“Oh, yeah. I can make angels swear. I am really proud of myself.”

Under Aziraphale’s gaze, he took his spoon and a bit more of cheesecake, and ate it. But he wrinkled his nose, showing disgust, and turned the spoon back. The angel asked him with his eyes.

“What’s wrong with the cake?” The demon started eating his own cake again.

“I don’t know. We were denied to taste the good things of God’s creations so normally, whatever we demons eat, all tastes like sand. We can stand some flavours like Coca-Cola, almost all liquids and some dark chocolate,” Explained. “But your cheesecake tasted… good. But not the second bite, and I don’t know why.” Aziraphale thought about it during a few seconds, and then whispered to himself.

“Love.”

“What?”

“No, I was just wondering… maybe my love is the reason.”

“Excuse me, your what?” Asked the demon, incredulous.

“Well, I offered you my cake with love, because you are my friend. Maybe that cancelled that curse that makes you taste only sand when you eat.”

“Are you suggesting that I, a demon, a fallen angel, can eat whatever I want, and really taste it, if I eat it from your hand, Aziraphale?”

The angel took a bit of chocolate cake and smiled innocently.

“Well, let’s try. This cake has also almond flavour, and I think you didn’t notice the first time. Can you taste it now?”

“Almonds?” Curious, the demon ate again what was being offered to him. Unlike the first bite, he felt the complete flavour of the cake this time. Aziraphale could have sworn that de demon’s eyes, under the sunglasses, sparkled in amazement. “Oh, holy fuck!” Moaned impressed. “What the fuck is this! Witchcraft! I thought I had heard all about we can taste properly! Shit! It’s delicious!”

“Don’t say those words in public, Crowley! The children around us!”

“Sorry, sorry, whatever.” The demon opened his mouth again. “More, please. It’s fucking delicious.”

“Okay, but behave, bad demon.”

Luckily, Crowley behalf during the rest of the time they shared that afternoon. After the closing time, the staff had a second reunion. All of them seem to be tired but happy, and so did their boss.

“Good job, ladies and gentlemen!” Smiled the excited angel. “I knew you were going to do a great job, and you did! This applause goes for you!” They all showed relief with his boss’ behaviour, and this provoked a calm clap from the demon.

“Yeah, what he is saying is right, you all did a great job, you have earnt a thumb up.” The staff was more pleased now, so he waved. “And now, go home. Tomorrow it will be another day, and the next, and the next, and so on. Have sweet dreams.”

“Yes! Good night, everyone! You all deserve the best tonight.” Smiled the angel.

The supernatural entities were the last ones to go out of the restaurant, and after closing it, the demon opened the door for the angel.

“Oh my god.” Whispered he, nervous, grasping the ceiling of the car. “I see you are happy again, Crowley, because of the speed of – watch out!”

The car swerved dodging a bicycle.

“He should have been wearing some lights, I didn’t see him.”

“Maybe it’s because of the sunglasses, take them off and slow down a bit.”

“I know you are nervous angel, this has been a thrilling day, but I would never hurt this car. Nor us inside of them, of course.”

The Bentley parked a couple of streets far from the bookshop. The angel sighed as he stepped outside the car. The demon leant on the car.

“Are you alright, angel?”

“Yes, yes, don’t worry. I think you are right; I was too excited for your speed tonight.”

“Oh, I am so pleased, I mean, sorry, to hear you say that…” The angel wrinkled his nose.

“I suppose for the distance that you can’t come closer, can you?” Surprisingly, the demon smirked.

“That’s the exact reason of the distance. If I park this far, I can… go to the bookshop.”

+++

The men were listening to some music while drinking as fishes on a river, when the demon felt a chill, and sneezed. The angel laughed at him.

“Do demons get colds?”

“I don’t know, angel. Maybe I… in which month are we?”

“Oct… no, no, novemberer. November. Yes, number…” He showed 8 fingers after a lot of hesitation. “November the eighth.”

“Oh, so that’s it. I am cold. I need to sleep a bit. Sleeeep. That sounds goooood.”

“Oh, it is true! You are a snake, Crowley! Do you snake demons… hibernate?”

“Every few centuries yes, more or less.” The demon stretched his arms, yawning.” But I love to sleep anyways.

“I hope you don’t spend again a whole century sleeping, Crowley. I run a restaurant now.”

“Angel, now that I can taste food, my interest in sleeping has lowered like… this much.” Pointed he, with two fingers really close. “Can I take a fast nap here? Just a couple of hours, I promise.”

“Here? Of course, you don’t have to ask. Make yourself at home.” The angel cleared a coach and took a cover from the backroom. When he went back, the demon had already switched back to his snake form and was on the coach, almost asleep.

Aziraphale smiled sweetly. Being a snake meant to feel sleepy after a copious food, so that could be the real reason why his friend needed a nap. Profoundly moved, he removed the sunglasses from the snake’s head, and covered it with the blanket.

After a slight sigh, he looked the sunglasses with curiosity. Feeling a bit guilty, he wore them. He laughed then, amused.

“They are not black! I feel like I am seeing normally! What a tricky demon are you, Crowley.”

“Aziraphale.”

The doorbell rang as a person got into the bookshop. As soon as he saw Gabriel, he took the glasses off and hid them on a pocket. His drunkenness vanished in the same moment.

“Ga–Gabriel. What a surprise to see you here… At night.” He looked at the couch with concern. Luckily, the snake wasn’t visible.

“Aziraphale.” Mumbled again the newcomer. He didn’t seem pleased with his own presence on Earth, nor the owner of the bookshop. “I know it’s not the best moment to drop by, but I thought that you could be… busy, during daytime.”

“Busy?”

“Your restaurant.”

“Oh! Yes! My new restaurant.” Smiled the angel. The Archangel moved through the shop slowly, checking profoundly every corner and almost every book. Aziraphale got really nervous, not just for himself, but for the demon under his blanket. “You can go whenever you want, and everybody from the Heaven. My treat.”

“That’s the point, Aziraphale. It’s not your treat, but _our_ treat.” The angel smirked nervously.

“‘Your’ treat? I am afraid that… I don’t understand, Gabriel.”

“We have let you do as you pleased too many times, Aziraphale. You had to share peace, but you only ate,” mumbled he, calmly. With a slight movement, he threw a book on the floor. The angel shrunk with dread. “bought books… and fraternised with a stupid demon.”

The blanked moved a bit when more books ended on the floor as Gabriel walked through the shop.

“And what’s best, Aziraphale.” Taking a book, he opened it and ripped a page. The angel jumped, more afraid than ever. The other man’s voice turned into a dark whisper of anger. “With the help of that impure boyfriend of yours, you stopped the Apocalypse. And those are bad things for an angel, Aziraphale. You must be punished.”

Something crawled silently around the shop as the two men spoke. The archangel closed the book with a dry sound.

“You can’t have everything you want, Aziraphale, that’s a human thing. And you are not a human but an angel. And with this… behaviour,” Mumbled, ripping another page. “you will end committing a sin, Aziraphale. You can only have one thing from now on.”

“One thing? Wha-what thing?”

“The restaurant. You have no more power on this place. This bookshop is ours now. You reap what you sow. Have a good night. Oh, and…”

In that moment, a big black snake jumped to attack the Archangel, but he hit it back with the book. The angel covered his face with his hands, his legs trembling, about to collapse on the floor. The snake ended again on a corner after the strike.

“Consider this as a warning. You are no longer the owner of this bookshop. And be thankful for not being discorporated. And please, keep this filthy creature” Ended the Archangel, throwing the book over the confused snake, who was recovering in the corner. “out of our sight, or he will be as unlucky as you will be. Good night.”

And with a smile, Gabriel turned around and left the shop. Still trembling, the angel ran to the snake, and knelt by his side.

“Crowley! Oh my God, Crowley dear, are you okay? Please, please, be okay, be okay.” He prayed, taking the snake’s head in his hands. With a miracle, he made the animal open his eyes, and switch back into his human form. Crowley seemed seasick, but safe and sound.

“Son of… a fucking bitch, fucking Gabriel, and fucking book! Was it the heaviest of the shop?”

“Crowley! Oh Lord, you are okay!”

“I am okay but fucked, angel! He hit me!”

But Aziraphale hugged his friend as strongly as he could, still trembling. This fact calmed the demon, who sighed and hugged him back. That seemed to be, in fact, the first time they both hugged ever in their 6000 years of friendship.

“I am okay, right? You saved me.”

“Oh my God, I was so scared, I couldn’t, oh my God.” The demon took his friend’s shaking hands, and helped him to stand up.

“Don’t worry. Everything’s fine, angel. And Hell, you are right, your side is way worse than my side with punishments.”

“I told you. Oh my God. Dear Lord, no…”

Aziraphale looked around them, trying to stop trembling. Crowley felt bad about the realisation of the angel; he was no more the owner of the shop. He only had the restaurant now.

“My… my books… my bookshop.”

“Hey, don’t worry. He told you all that crap, but you know what he didn’t do? Aziraphale.” He looked at him, with panic on his eyes. He smirked with self-confidence. “The owner of this bookshop is the owner of the place, angel. Not of the stock.”

“The… stock?”

“Yes. Leave it to me, your books will be replaced into a safe place.”

“Really? My books will still be mine?”

“Yes, they will be.”

He helped the angel to sit down on the coach. They didn’t have so much time, at any time the police could be there like if they were common burglars. He knelt in front of his friend. His voiced echoed calm and temptation. He was about to make a demonic intervention. His eyes sparkled with evil.

“Your books are now in the safest place in the world.” Aziraphale looked around them. Aside from the coach where he was sitting on, there was nothing more on the bookshop. Nor books, nor furniture. Everything was gone. The only thing left was dust.

“This is too big for a normal intervention, Crowley.” Recognised he, with grateful in his eyes. He finally stopped trembling and smiled with relief. “Where are my books now?”

“That’s an easy one. My place.”

“Your what?”

Crowley’s flat was the epitome of style, like all of Crowley’s human effects, and everything that a flat should be: spacious, white, elegantly furnished and lit with spotlights and white neon tubes. It had that designer unlived in look that only comes from not being lived in. This is because Crowley didn’t live in the flat; it was simply the place he went back to, at the end of the day, when he was in London.

The flat contained a lounge, a kitchen, an office, a bedroom and a bathroom. The lounge had a huge television, a white leather sofa, a video and laserdisc player, an Ansa phone, two telephones and a square matt black sound system that lacked speakers, but worked nonetheless. It also held his book collection, his houseplants, his CDs and his collection of Soul Music, all alphabetically organised. The kitchen’s fridge was always stocked with gourmet food that never went off and it never had to be defrosted, or even plugged in. The office had an unconnected fax machine and a sleek computer, which looked like a Porsche with a screen. The bedroom’s beds were always made. His computer had the intelligence of a retarded ant, and yet he upgraded it often because it was the sort of thing Crowley felt that the sort of human he tried to be would have. His fax machine was disconnected, his stereo system lacked speakers, and he most likely never used his bathroom.

Crowley’s only attempt at decorating his minimalist flat was a framed drawing, a cartoon of the Mona Lisa, Leonardo da Vinci’s original sketch, bought from the artist himself. Crowley and Leonardo agreed it was “superior to the final painting”.

When they arrived to Crowley’s flat, the angel sighed with extreme happiness: across the entrance, the main corridor, and part of the living room there were amounts of books from the bookshop. Crowley, as every time he entered in his house, took his sunglasses off and watched the place with concern.

“I didn’t expect there were… so many books… but I think they will fit. Here, I’ll show you your room, angel.”

“Oh? Yes!” The blonde was absorbed with the view of his books safe and sound, but he followed the demon. They got into the big bedroom, with bare walls and a big window that showed the neighbourhood of Mayfair, revealing himself as a flat at west of Soho.

There were two double sized beds one next the other. Aziraphale looked around him. There was no closet nor another personal object, but knowing there was a demon living there, it was completely normal.

“We can put all your books here; we just need a lot of shelves on the walls. Easy.”

“Yes, I agree.” Thankful, the angel gave the demon a big hug. “Thank you, Crowley. I can’t find the words to tell you how grateful I am for this.”

“Well, it’s not the first time I offer you my house, but this is the first time you agree to come so, I think that’s enough.” He answered, nodding. “Time to sleep, don’t you think so? It’s getting late.”

“Sleep? We don’t need to sleep, I will… oh.”

“What, do you want to do the shelves now? Oh.”

They both noticed then that the angel had just been punished for his last ‘self miracle’, so he shouldn’t do more in a while. The demon sighed.

“Okay, I’ll take care of the shelves. How do you want them?”

+++

Next morning, the Bentley parked behind the restaurant while two of the waiters were waiting. There was a puddle near to them, so when the wheel passed over it, they almost stained their white uniforms. Aziraphale attempted to go out then, smiling at them, but the driver stopped him by making his engine roar.

The waiters saw the car going back a little to avoid the puddle, and then, the angel stepped outside with a smile.

“Good morning! Oh my God, I am so sorry for being late, were you waiting so long?”

“No, boss.” Answered a waiter called John. The other one, Lisa, denied too. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. Are you ready for a new day?” With an excited smile, the angel opened the back door so they could get in. Crowley went out of the car too, and leant against it.

“Hey angel! I’m going back, I have to work. Do you have the key?” Aziraphale nodded.

“Yes, I have it here, in my pocket.”

“The phone number? The street’s name?”

“I have it all, Crowley, don’t worry anymore! Go!” He did a funny face before waving. When the demon left, the waiters looked at him.

“What was all that fuss about, boss?”

Aziraphale took a sign with emergency numbers and changed the first one.

“He is worried because yesterday I spent the night in his house for the first time. I am afraid he thinks I will get lost when I have to go back there tonight.” The humans looked at each other.

“And… why?”

“Why?”

“Yes, why that seemed to be so important?” His partner hit her shoulder. “What? Mr Crowley seemed concerned about boss’ safety.”

“Mr Crowley gave him a key, Lisa.” Said John, raising his eyebrows.

“And? Oh… he’s leaving the city for some days?” She asked, interested.

“No, no, we are living together.”

The humans showed confusion. They thought they already lived together.

“And… Why are you living together, Mr Fell?”

“Lisa!”

“Don’t get angry, John.” Smiled the angel. “It may seem strange because I have never been there before, but… some things changed, and now I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“Oh my God!”

“It’s not what you think! I think. What I mean is that you don’t have to worry. The restaurant can now be my complete life. More or less.”

The couple looked at him, but Mr Fell was a good person. He at least seemed a good person, despite Mr Crowley’s appearance and behaviour. He was trustful, and that was all that they needed.

And so, time started settling things. The demon had to work harder because of his insubordination during the Apocalypse, and was barely at home. Meanwhile, Aziraphale also worked to make his restaurant one of the best in London. Sometimes, and always under the waiter’s gaze, the demon went to see his friend, and they had lunch together.

All the restaurant’s customers were certain about their relationship –especially when the angel fed the demon by hand– but well, that was normal. They spoke about the other in terms of friendship, but they were clearly dating.

Until one day. The headwaiter, Markus, was on duty that day. He was going to get some last time supplies for a reservation –an expensive one–, when he saw something strange. That day was around the eleventh Mr Crowley was supposed to be out of the city. But he saw the old/new Bentley parked, as illegally as always, in front of an Irish pub. Mr Crowley himself went out of the car, and opened the co-pilot’s door.

That was an alarm signal by itself. He had never done that with Aziraphale, although it is true that he always tried to avoid puddles and mud so he didn’t stain his clothes, but to open him the door was another issue.

And then, grabbed the hand of a lady to help her going out of the car. The lady had black, curly and long hair. His skin was pale and smooth, and was wearing an extremely sexy red outfit. Her lips were full and red as a mature apple. Markus never liked the demon; he felt something bad around him. He was like a mix between a mobster and a Rockstar; too dangerous for their innocent boss.

When the lady grabbed the redhead’s arm and both came into the pub, he frowned. He had always known that man was a womanizer. Back at the restaurant, he shared his experience with his companions, and all agreed with him.

“That liar!” Shouted angrily one of the cookers.

“Liar? He’s a bastard!” Said a waiter.

“Are you sure she was his lover?” Asked a waitress.

“I am certain, look.” He showed them a picture he managed to take them inside the pub. The mysterious lady and the demon were at the back of the place, partially hidden by a wood wall, but they were visible. They seemed to be sharing some secrets, because they were really close.

“You can see her breasts from there! What a whore.” Claimed Natasha, another waitress, angry as all of them.

“Big breasts don’t make anybody a whore, Nat.” Disagreed John. “But I never liked Crowley. And with this information I like him even less.”

“We should tell this to Mr Fell.” suggested Lisa.

“We?” Jennifer didn’t seem to agree at all. “Hear me out, I understand your concern, we all love our boss and hate that bastard, but we aren’t a bunch of nosey waiters.”

“We are waiters in general” Agreed John. “But also, good people. And I don’t particularly like Mr Fell to be tricked by that idiot.”

They looked at each other. Time to decide.

Inside the restaurant, between the lounge and the kitchen, there was an office. It was there where Mr A. Z. Fell made countability, signed contracts and ran the business in general. And when Crowley went at night, was in that room where they got drunk as they wanted.

In that moment, Aziraphale was checking the month’s bills, when someone knocked at the door.

“Come in!” He smiled, taking his glasses off. He didn’t need them, he was an angel, but a lot of famous readers and writers wore them, and he always thought that was really cool. Markus got in nervously.

“Hi, Mr Fell. May I?”

“Of course! Sit down, Markus. Is everything alright? Your mother is okay?”

“Yes, yes, she is better from her cold. I want to tell you… something.”

“Okay, go on, don’t be afraid.”

The boy felt his chest hurt; the blonde was always so happy, and so trustful… he was an angel on Earth.

“It’s about Mr Crowley.” The angel’s eyes sparkled.

“Has he come? Where is he? I’m coming out!”

“No, is not that, he is not here. Yet, at least.”

Due to his soft voice, Aziraphale sat down again. He could feel that something was wrong. Something serious.

“What happened, Markus? Did you hear something?”

“No, I… I saw something a few minutes ago.” He took his phone and showed the angel the pictures he had taken. The angel put his glasses on to see them. “He is cheating on you with a woman.”

Aziraphale observed the pictures carefully. He knew Crowley had another demon around as part of his punishment, but he had never seen him. Or her, in this case. She seemed a smart feminine demon; there were more opportunities to tempt people if you were tempting; that’s why Crowley had that appearance –certainly, although sometimes wasn’t sure at all, Aziraphale always saw the demon quite sexy, because well, he _had to_ , didn’t he? For him, his friend’s appearance had to be the prototype of sexy–.

“I have never seen this lady in my life.”

“That’s what I am talking about. She was inside Mr Crowley’s old car, and he helped her to go out.”

“She was in his Bentley?”

“Yes! And they got into that Irish pub and drank and… they seemed pretty close.”

“Hm. Well, Markus, I am not sure of why are you telling me this” he recognised, giving the phone back. “but Crowley knows what he is doing. He will be okay.”

“Ok… okay?” The young boy seemed confused. “But he is cheating on you, he has a lover, don’t you mind it?”

“Lover? Oh! You say it like… oh, no, no, we are not dating, Markus.” He smiled. The headwaiter looked at him more confused. “It is the truth, we are nothing, just friends.”

“Mr Fell, I know some people still hide these things but… It’s too evident to be my imagination.” Now the angel was confused.

“Evident?”

“Well, you have lunch together, are living together, he drives you here and back when he is in London, you call him Dear, he calls you Angel…”

There was an uncomfortable silence. The human continued.

“You feed him. He looks at you as if you were the most important thing of the world when you are sitting together in the middle of the lounge. Your chairs are the only ones golden; they are like thrones.”

“Thrones! – Screamed the angel, scared. The throne was for a King, or God, not for angels. “No! they are not Thrones! Oh my God. They are just special chairs.”

“Why do you seem more concerned about the goldenness of a chair instead what I am saying? You have a selfie of you two here!”

Markus took a silver frame from the table. It had a picture the demon and angel took together the first day after the Armageddon’t, in Tadfield, to celebrate the continuity of the world. It was taken before they switched bodies to save the other from destruction. The angel lowered his face. Markus felt a bit guilty; he didn’t know why they kept denying their relationship.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, boss. I am… we are just concerned. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I understand, don’t worry.” He took the frame back and left it where it was. “But I promise you, Markus, that Crowley is a good person. Too good even to myself. And now, please, calm the others, he is…” Aziraphale sighed. If they were more comfortable by thinking they were dating, he would use that terminology. “Crowley would never cheat on me. Go out, please.”

“Okay.”

Just when Markus went back to the kitchen, he found the backdoor half open. Something was happening outside. He went out in a hurry, and saw the Bentley parked in the alley. The other waiters were looking pretty badly at the demon, who seemed to had just been arrived.

“What a bunch of angry faces, what have I done?” Smirked. Jenifer spoke first.

“You cheap bastard, coward, idiot, how could you?” Crowley shrugged.

“How could I what?”

“You have a lover, confess! You won’t be able to get into the restaurant otherwise.” Said another waiter. Crowley raised his eyebrows.

“A lover? Me?” He thought about that. “You mean your boss’? We aren’t lovers, okay? If he is sad, I promise I am not the reason. I just made him sad once, in 1967.”

“Guys, stop.” Markus tried to avoid the situation, but nobody listened to him.

“We are talking about the woman Markus saw you with thins morning!”

“This morning? Oh, you mean–”

Aziraphale appeared them, pretty serious for an angel. But not for them. He looked at Crowley with worry.

“Crowley! He has called, he’s coming, go.”

“Who’s coming?”

“Gabriel.” The humans felt confused, but the demon, after being there for fifteen minutes, ran to his car like if he was suddenly in a hurry.

“We will end this conversation in other moment, peasants!”

But someone more came into the narrow alley. A man well dressed in a suit walked to the car, and when the demon tried to open the door, he jumped back.

“Cold!”

“Well, what a coincidence.” Humans suddenly felt the air denser. Something bad was about to happen. The angel stepped forward and stood in front of them.

“Gabriel! What a surprise. How are you?” Crowley looked at Aziraphale, trying not to panic. The newcomer smirked.

“Aziraphale. I have read your paperwork, pretty good, as always. You are taking good care of your new restaurant.”

“Thank, thank you. A lot of people are enjoying God’s Grace with the food.”

The humans wondered what was going on; all the anger they could feel for the redhead vanished and turned into confusion.

“Aziraphale, little angel.” He said with disappointment, pointing to the demon. “I remember having told you that I didn’t want to see this creature again. But you have not just kept contact with him, but also…”

When Gabriel took a gun out of his coat, the humans got really scared. Aziraphale’s eyes got wide open, and he stretched an arm to Crowley’s. He ran without hesitation to the blonde.

The archangel lifted the gun, happy with the situation.

“Don’t run, you, slippery snake. If he doesn’t get rid of you properly, it’s my turn.”

“Everybody inside! Fast!”

Aziraphale closed the door with the key, but Crowley shrugged nervously.

“That doesn’t work with angels, you should know it!”

“I know! But there are humans here, he should stop if I do this!”

“They can be hypnotised! I have to run!”

“No! Uriel could be out there too!”

Panicking, the humans hid behind the kitchen’s furniture, taking fast glances to see what was going on. Both, Crowley and Aziraphale, seemed to be stressed out and scared as never before.

“Then where do I hide!”

“Snake! Switch to a snake!” He yelled, pulling out his sleeve.

“Fucking Heaven gangsters!”

 _Omg_! Thought the waiters and the cooks. When the redhead took his glasses off, he showed a pair of golden snake eyes, and he turned into one in less than a second. But –this time, at least– he was so small that Aziraphale took it and put it inside his coat. They could see the snake’s tail as he crawled into the blonde’s clothes. He took then the glasses and made them disappear with a wave, just when Gabriel opened the door with a kick.

The angel jumped, scared, and ended with his hands up in the air.

“He’s gone! I promise!” Without putting his gun down, the archangel got into the kitchen. “We are against guns, for God’s sake!”

“Not all, my dear Aziraphale. I warned you. You risked yourself too much just by staying down here, with the humans. You have been losing your divinity through the centuries, and you ended fraternizing with the enemy. You must be punished.”

“I just wanted humans to live! Isn’t that God’s Plan?”

“No, it wasn’t.” The angel gulped, hands still up.

“Well, then I am deeply sorry. But you shouldn’t shoot nobody, I am a good angel, you know it.”

“Yes, I know. And that’s why punishing you will cost me a lot more of what you think.”

When the archangel pointed the gun at him, humans jumped of terror. Was he going to kill him? They all were potential victims too! They were watching everything! Aziraphale trembled, extremely confused.

“But, but… me? why me?” Asked, his hands still up.

“Really? Don’t you see it? Aziraphale, I am nobody to punish a demon who gets close to you. You are responsible for letting him approaching to you. He is bad, you are good. You can’t be friends, nor… whatever you are. I won’t try to understand it. Goodbye, Aziraphale. Good luck… wherever you go next.”

But surprisingly, the tiny snake jumped from one of the angel’s sleeves and bit his nose. The archangel threw the gun screaming, and one of the humans took it.

“Don’t move!” yelled at him, pointing him with the gun. John watched the gun disappear from his hands, and when Gabriel took the snake in his hands, he went back to be a man.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale took a frying pan, and gave it to him. The demon started hitting him on the face.

“Welcome to the world of demons, you bastard!” Screamed.

“Ow! Stop! Stop! It hurts too much! This is not normal!” With the frying pan dripping the archangel’s blood, the demon smirked.

“That’s because you have my venom inside you. And now, you fucking bastard, are one of us.” His teeth were covered with blood. “Welcome to Hell.”

“What?!”

The demon got up and ran to Aziraphale when the other man stood up. Two demons appeared then, and all humans ran to the farthest wall. The blonde followed them soon after, scared too.

One of the demons took an archangel’s arm, and so did the other. Extremely pleased, Crowley bowed.

“Here you are, guys. Our newest acquisition, an ex–Archangel. Suck my bollocks, Gabriel. You deserve it.” Smiled, showing him his middle finger.

“No! this is a mistake! I am not a demon! I work for God!”

But the two demons laughed at him.

“Our people have been waiting too long to have this opportunity. A fallen archangel to torture. Thanks, Crowley.”

He waved with the frying pan.

“It was a pleasure.”

One of them looked at Aziraphale, but then looked again at the demon. They both bowed them, and disappeared with Gabriel. Crowley leant on a near table, releasing the frying pan, and the angel ran again to him. The humans were too scare to move, but some of them were finally figuring out the correct conclusion.

“Crowley! Did you?”

“Bit him? Transform him into a fucking demon? Saved all of you? Yes! I did.” Panted he, taking deep breaths. “I am always rescuing you, angel. You should thank me.”

He smiled, relieved, and hugged him. Relaxing his body, the demon closed his eyes and hugged him back.

“I don’t deserve you, Crowley. You are the best person I know.”

“Yeah, I think the same.” He smiled. Then he looked at the humans, and broke the hug. “And… what about them?”

“Oh.” Aziraphale looked at his workers. He was stained with the archangel’s blood, and so was the demon’s face. “They are so pale, so scared… I am terribly sorry.”

“You…” Markus took a deep breath before trying to speak. What are you?” They looked at each other.

“I am an angel, and my name is Aziraphale. And this man here is my best friend.” The demon smiled, with his eyes sparkling of pride. _Finally_ , he thought. “Anthony J. Crowley. A demon.”

“We met a long time ago.” He continued. “And we have been friends since. Our sides didn’t want us to communicate, but we hid it.”

“During centuries.” Agreed Aziraphale. “Until the apocalypse came.”

“The apocalypse?!” The humans yelled. They calmed them with a wave. The demon cleaned his clothes and face and put his glasses on again, to hide his snake eyes.

“Yes, but we stopped it.” Explained Aziraphale. “And our sides got mad with us.”

“Yeah. He then lost his bookshop and now he lives with me.” Ended the demon.

“I knew it.” Mumbled someone behind them.

The supernatural entities turned around, and all of them watched the arrival of another person. Beelzebub, a demon covered with flies, took the frying pan without interest. The angel got between the demon and his superior.

“Please, don’t. I don’t know what Gabriel has told you, but Crowley…”

“Shut up, thiz haz nothing to do with you.” Started Beelzebub. “Demon Crowley.” The redhead took his friend’s shoulder, and moved him away.

“Yes, my Lord?”

“Crowley…” He nodded in disagreement.

“The humans, angel. They have priority.” The other demon put his hands behind his back, checking their movements.

“Look at you. You were once the best of the best. You got Eve to bite the apple. You brought dizgrace to the human race. And now, you want to protect them.”

“I just want to live here; I have fun here. If all of this goes to shit then I’m fucked.”

The angel calmed the humans with a wave. He looked extremely worried, but he didn’t want them to suffer. Jennifer grabbed his boss’ shoulder to give him strength.

“You are too good to be a demon, Crowley. You are fired.” He mumbled.

“Wh… what?”

“What did you say?” Beelzebub looked at the angel. Then he snapped his fingers.

“He iz not a demon anymore. I don’t want fucking angels between my demonz. Goodbye.” And disappeared.

Crowley fainted just after, and everybody, humans and angel, ran to help him.

+++

When the redhead recovered consciousness, he was on the floor at Aziraphale’s office. His head hurt as hell, and was covered with the angel’s coat. Under his head there was a bended brown waistcoat.

“Holy shit.” Mumbled, trying to sit down on the floor. He felt some movement on his right, and turned around. “Angel?”

“Yes, Crowley.” Aziraphale knelt beside him and smiled. “How are you?”

“I feel… weird. Like if all my body wanted to disappear, but couldn’t.”

“Yes… As for that, you fainted after Beelzebub’s arrival.”

“Yes! Beelzebub was here! What happened!”

He grabbed his head with a moan. He felt dizzy. Aziraphale calmed him with a wave. His face seemed sad, and he got worried.

“What’s wrong, angel? What did I miss?”

“Nothing at all, you… You were fired, Crowley.”

“Me? Fired? What do you mean?”

Aziraphale took a pocket mirror for him to see his face. It seemed to be from one of the waitresses. When Crowley saw himself, he panicked.

His eyes where once blue, as blue as a clear sky. But when he asked too much back in Heaven, he was expelled from there. His eyes turned into snake ones, and his wings became black. But now, his eyes were blue again. He had angel eyes, but he was certain that he wasn’t an angel. He felt in fact that there was nothing in his back. His wings, he… he couldn’t feel them.

_Oh, shit._

The angel hugged his friend when he started crying, speechless. What could he say about that situation? He had saved him in too many occasions, and now he was no more a demon.

He was a _human_.

+++

Later that day, when the restaurant was closed again, the waiters came to check Crowley’s state. Aziraphale took the hard decision of not erasing their memories, so they were now aware of their boss’ nature and the difficult situation of his “boyfriend”.

The redhead came out with a dark face. He had no words to describe his feelings, he was a human. A mere human. A mortal. Aziraphale looked at them thankfully.

“How was the day?” They looked at each other. Markus nodded.

“We are very good, I guess. I think this explains a lot of weird things about you. How are you, Mr Crowley?” Aziraphale answered for him.

“He will be okay, thank you. I… hope all of you to maintain our secret, please. I am risking too much by letting you know what we are, but you deserved to know it.”

“You are, angel.” Mumbled Crowley. “I am a demon no more.”

“Crowley, dear…” The worried tone of the angel shrank the heart of the demon, who tried to ease the situation with a shrug.

“I am okay, angel. I am just a human. I’ll bear it as I can. Are… Are you sure about this? Letting them know the truth?”

“You can trust in our fidelity, Mr Crowley.” Mumbled Jenifer. “We have a great job, an amazing boss, and… now we know that magic, and God, and all that stuff do really exist.”

“We want to remember.” Added Lisa, another waitress. The rest of the staff agreed with her. “And we want to help. If you are really an angel and a demon who love each other, then we must do our part to help you.”

The old supernatural couple looked at each other. The blonde agreed too.

“Okay. Those people were our Superiors, Archangel Gabriel was mine, and Beelzebub…”

“The Fly man?” Asked someone.

“Yes, that one was Crowley’s. I suppose they won’t come back in a while, but if you see them, tell us. Crowley, how do you feel?”

“Calmed.” He recognised. “You made a miracle for that.” Aziraphale smiled with embarrassment.

“Yes, or at least I tried. Let’s go home. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your help. We will see you tomorrow. Good night.”

The redhead looked at the Bentley. He denied, he couldn’t drive it without his demonic powers, what if they crashed? He gave his keys to Aziraphale without hesitation, and he looked at him with panic.

“Are you sure about this?” He agreed.

“I can’t drive. Not now, at least.”

“Okay, don’t worry. What if we… Call a cab?”

“No, I can’t let my baby here, what if somebody steals it? No, never.”

“This is a good neighbourhood, Crowley!”

“No! Or you drive, or I will stay here and sleep inside the car.”

The angel got nervous, but he had been co–piloting that car during almost fifty years, so it shouldn’t be so difficult. They got into the car and put on the seatbelts. The angel sighed nervously. Crowley looked at his sunglasses on his hands. He felt really uncomfortable in his body right now. The blonde took a deep breath, and started the engine. The car moved really slow for the streets as he drove them back home. Crowley turned the radio on.

Freddie started singing.

 _Who wants to live forever? Who wants_ –

He turned the radio off.

+++

Aziraphale was almost sweating when he finally parked in the building’s garage. He released then the steering wheel with a sigh, and Crowley breathed again. And then, they looked at each other.

That was, by far, the weirdest situation they had lived in their long life. And they started laughing of it.

They got into the lift and pressed the button. Inside the lift there was a mirror, and Crowley took that advantage to take a good look at himself. He was the same in the outside, but his eyes betrayed him. They were still as blue as a clear sky. He pressed his forehead to the mirror with a depressed sigh.

Aziraphale didn’t know what to say, he was speechless again. He was terrified now that his friend was a human. What if Heaven took advantage and killed him with a miracle? Crowley had turned Gabriel into a demon without permission and that had been a risky movement.

They got into the apartment in complete silence, the human crawling his feet. He let his body fall into the nearest coach with a long sigh. He felt torn. The plants he owned, for the first time in their life, didn’t tremble under his presence. Something had change. Azirafel put his hand on his friend’s back and he moaned quietly.

“How are you, Crowley?”

“I’m dying, angel. I feel restless, hungry, and worst of all… I want to go to the bathroom.”

“Well, that’s normal. I go to the bathroom from time to time.” He smiled. Crowley turned around to look at him properly.

“But now I can stain the toilet with my… you know.” He moved his hand away slowly.

“I didn’t expect that answer, if I am sincere. What if you go and try the… _bathroom issues_ while I cook something?”

“Oh, but do you cook, angel?” His smile got back.

“Well, you know dear, sometimes there are bank holidays and I can’t get any food when everything is closed.”

“Okay, I’ll try it if you try. I will go to the… Bathroom.” Sighed. Aziraphale took his hand to help him standing up, and then went to the kitchen.

Crowley looked at the toilet with fear. That thing was going to be his first big enemy. But he didn’t lift the cover; he sat down over, and looked at the ceiling.

“God, it’s me again. What did I to end like this? I took Gabriel away from you, but you know he was an arse.” Mumbled, looking down. “I just wanted to be Aziraphale’s friend. I think it’s unfair to give my eternity to get him. I don’t want to die as a human, I’ve seen it, and it sucks.”

No answer from God. He wasn’t expecting any answer at all, but anyways, he felt really alone. Now he literally had only Aziraphale’s friendship.

And his car.

+++

Aziraphale took the frying pan and put some oil, starting the ceramic hob. Then, he opened the fridge and took two eggs and some cheese. He tried not to think about Crowley’s situation, somebody had to be the positive of the two, and the redhead didn’t seem to be the one.

But deep inside, while cooking the eggs and cutting the cheese, he was in complete panic. All he could think of was his friend’s death by any possible way: a demonic killing, a piano falling from the sky like in that weird coffee advertisement… everything was possible now. Crowley didn’t have any protection.

 _Nor job!_ He thought. How did he live there? Did he pay any rent? Taxes? And what about water and electricity bills? His sound system wouldn’t keep making any sound without speakers. He sighed; he was thinking too much.

+++

Aziraphale took a beautiful dish to the dinner table. Crowley was still in the bathroom, so when he prepared the table, he went there directly. He knocked the door politely.

“Crowley? Are you okay?”

“Yeah… kind of.” Mumbled from the inside. “What about the dinner?”

“The dinner is ready, it didn’t take much time, but I am… a bit worried about you. Try not to suffer a mortal accident, please.”

“I won’t die here, angel, for God’s Sake.”

After flushing the toilet, the demon came out. He looked a bit better than before, but not much. He was trying to put his shirt inside his jeans again. Aziraphale checked his appearance, looking for wounds or cuts, but he saw nothing. He let him go to the living room first.

Crowley sat at the table and looked at his dinner with surprise.

“Did you really cook this, angel? I was expecting a culinary disaster, not… Normal food.”

“I told you that I know how to cook, Crowley. Now, eat. You will find it tasty. I didn’t forget the salt.”

He tried the food. And he looked back at his friend. It was more than edible; he could even taste the real flavour of it. He smiled; something good about humans was that they could feel all that God gave them. The whole experience of life.

After the dinner, he tried to dress himself with his black pyjama. He failed with the buttons of the shirt, but luckily, he had Aziraphale. He helped him with the buttoning and then they got into the bedroom. Again, Crowley sighed.

“What’s wrong, Crowley?” Asked Aziraphale. With his own pyjama, he was sitting on his bed. “You like to sleep.”

“I do, and I think I still like it but… I don’t want to have a nightmare.” His friend frowned with empathy.

“You won’t know until you sleep. Just give it a try, and if you have one… well, it’s uncommon anyways.”

“Hm.”

He went to bed and covered himself a bit nervous. The night was going to be long. But luckily, he fell asleep very soon.

+++

He saw himself back in Golgotha, witnessing the day Jesus Christ died in the cross. He looked around; he knew the angel known as Aziraphale had seen the trial, and he wanted to see him. He walked around the people, looking for him.

People started grasping; one of the crucified was dying. He scratched his hair with confusion. Where the hell was Aziraphale?

“Poor creature.” Someone mumbled. “With those beautiful wings…”

_Wings?_

Panicking, he went back to the cross, and his mouth got fully open. There was only a cross, and only one crucified.

Aziraphale was crucified, with his fire sword under his feet. He was covered in blood, and his wings were lying lifeless behind him, losing feathers really fast.

“Aziraphale!” He screamed, extremely terrified. He run through the people to get to the cross, and when he got there, the blonde saw him.

“Crow… ley?” He gasped, breathless.

“Aziraphale! What the Hell happened!? Why are you there?! I’ll get you down! Don’t worry!” He looked around, but he didn’t saw any rope or some stairs to climb the cross.

His friend was dying. His chest was about to stop. He looked up, crying with despair.

“Hey, hey! Aziraphale, hold on! I’m going to rescue you! I… I have a flaming sword!” Screamed, taking the sword from the ground. But when he looked up again, the angel was gone. “Aziraphale?”

Nobody seemed to have seen what happened to the blonde. He asked around, but he was clueless.

Until he saw a sheet covered in blood on the ground.

And he knew. The angel was dead. Aziraphale was dead. He started screaming, leaving the sword fall from his hand, and kneeling into the ground.

And then, Aziraphale woke him up.

“Crowley, wake up! You are having a nightmare!” Crowley sat down on the bed, shaking and sweating. The angel swung a magazine to refresh him. “You are awake, calm down, dear, that’s it, it’s ok now.”

“Where, what, what happened?”

“You were having a nightmare, screaming and crying. Are you feeling better now?” He calmed down a bit by taking deep breaths.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“What were you dreaming about? It seemed terrifying.”

“I… I don’t remember.” He lied. “Don’t worry about me, angel, that won’t happen again. Go back to sleep.”

“I can’t let you sleep like that, dear. Move aside, I’m coming in.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll sleep with you; I will prevent you to have another nightmare.”

“It’s not necessary, I am alright now, look at me. I can go back to sleep without problems, that won’t happen again.”

“I won’t risk, Crowley.” Smiled the angel, getting in the bed with him. He mumbled with disapproval; he didn’t want to share his bed with anybody.

But Aziraphale seemed decided to sleep with him. He sighed before laying again. They got covered with the blankets, and tried to sleep. It took him a while, but Crowley managed to go back to sleep.

+++

The next morning, Aziraphale woke up with the ring of the doorbell. With caution, he got up and went to the door. One of his waiters, John, was standing on the hall.

“Good morning, Mr Fell. How are you?”

“I am alright, thank you! Good morning, John, why are you here so early in the morning?”

“Well, you know, we spoke yesterday about… about what happened.” The angel’s smile faded away.

“Yes… And what conclusion did you get to?”

“We want to help you.” He said with a nod. “And Mr Crowley as well. You saved us from the other guys, and Mr Crowley became human as a result. Markus has offered his place for him.”

“His place?”

“Yes, he wants to be a common waiter, so Mr Crowley can be the headwaiter.”

“What? Why?” Asked he, confused. The human got into the flat so they could chat more comfortably.

“We got to the conclusion that this place, Mr Crowley’s house, is paid with demonic magic, so…”

“Now we are not paying the rent.” He guessed. The human agreed. The angel walked through the corridor, thinking about it very seriously. “So, he will need the money. And an ID card, and a driver license, papers…”

“Yes, that’s exactly what we thought. And he can get money by working for you. “He smiled. The angel grabbed his hand, smiling too.

“I won’t forget this, John. Markus will be rewarded, and you too. All of you. This will be positive for Crowley, I am afraid he gets bored easily, and now that he will age…”

The angel stopped speaking for a moment. Crowley was now a human, with all its consequences. John saw the fear on his boss’ face, and tried to calm him down with a nod. Crowley woke up in that moment, and went out of the bedroom. He was still sleepy and his hair was a mess, but he hadn’t had more nightmares, so he had rested a bit.

“What’s with the noise? What happened?”

“Crowley! Good morning, dear! How are you? Did you sleep properly this time?”

“Yes, yes. Hello John, how are you?”

“I’m ok, Mr Crowley. How is the human experience?”

“I hate it, thank you.” He mumbled. “And now I’ll tell you why.”

He went to the bathroom and slammed the door angrily.

“I will speak with him, don’t worry. Prepare the restaurant as always, we will go there as soon as we can.”

“Okay boss, see you there. Good luck with the _devil_.”

Aziraphale knocked the door when the human left. He thought about it for a moment, and wasn’t really sure about how to manage the situation, but he had faith. That was the only thing that mattered to him.

“Crowley, my dear, I have a couple of things to speak with you.”

“Aha, I’ll be with you in a moment, angel. I’m with my human things now.”

“I have that need too, Crowley, I can imagine what you are doing.” Sighed he. “I’ll prepare the breakfast in the meanwhile.”

As he promised, he prepared a typical British breakfast before Crowley went out of the bathroom. He was properly dressed when he sat down at the table. Aziraphale was also dressed up, but he did it magically. It was interesting to see how hard seemed the situation for the redhead; his hair was done but not perfectly as always, and his shirt needed an iron.

“Okay, now tell me, what was the visit about?”

“Oh? Yes.” As they both had breakfast, Aziraphale nodded happily. “They had a chat yesterday. My waiters… About what happened to, well, you.”

“Now I am a human, and they are going to sell me to the Americans. Will they open me like an alien?”

“No! none of that, dear, for God’s sake, I would never let that happen!” He yelled. The angel sighed again, trying to order his thoughts before speaking. “Crowley, I want you to work with me.”

The demon stopped his fork mid-air.

“Excuse me, that you want me to what?”

“To work _for_ me, to be clear.” He smiled. “I want you to be my new headwaiter.”

“Me? and what about that guy, Markus?”

“He will be just a waiter. It was their idea, amazing, isn’t it?”

“Amazing why? I don’t want to dress like a fucking penguin and work there, angel. I have standards.”

“Crowley, dear, think about it briefly.” He insisted. “How were you paying for this flat?” De demon put the fork back on his plate, hesitant.

“Well…”

“Let me guess, a ‘demonic intervention’? Well, let me remember you that you are not a demon anymore, so that’s not an option now. You, no, _we_ will lose this beautiful place if you, the owner, don’t pay the rent nor taxes.”

Crowley thought about that seriously. Aziraphale was right, his name was on the flat’s rent contract, but he couldn’t afford that place anymore without his demonic powers. He gazed around; at his plants, his expensive furniture, and some of the angel’s books in the shelves he miracle not long ago. He looked back at Aziraphale when he noticed a slight detail.

“Did you say ‘we’ will lose?”

“Er, yes, I am living here, aren’t I?” The demon sighed.

“Yes, okay, I’ll do it. But it’ll be a disaster, angel, I know nothing about being a…”

“Headwaiter. A maître, if you prefer.” Smiled Aziraphale.

“Whatever. What I am supposed to do?”

“I’ll explain it to you when we are there, my dear. And now, let’s finish our breakfast. It’s going to get cold if we spend more time chatting like scholars.”

Crowley looked back at his eggs. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

+++

Once again, Aziraphale was in charge of taking them both to the restaurant in the Bentley. Despite his excuses, Crowley wasn’t going to take the bus having a car in their garage, so the angel drove as good as he could. Sweating like crazy, he drove slowly, using miracles to avoid unfortunate crashes. When they finally arrived to the restaurant, he had to take of his cream jacket. Crowley smiled; it was very interesting seeing him suffering for his Bentley.

He delayed a bit to look at his car. He already missed to drive it. Maybe he should get a driving licence.

+++

Markus gave him a new uniform; all white, black bowtie. He changed it for a black tie, but he wasn’t comfortable at all; it was almost like being in Warlock’s birthday party again. He tried also keeping his sunglasses on. But it was even worse, because he couldn’t see with them. He leant on the Maître’s desk on the front while his new co-worker spoke.

“This is an easy job. Once you check the reservation, all you have to do is… are you listening, Crowley?”

“Yeah, yeah, sort of.” He mumbled. “I’ve been in fancy restaurants as a guest before, I just have to do what they did to me, I know this, it’s easy, kid.”

“Hear me out, now you are a human like me.” He explained, calmly. “I’m doing this for you, but I’m doing it for my boss too. I would even say that I do this only for him, because I appreciate him with all my soul.”

“Adorable, and so what?”

“‘And so what’? Didn’t you see him while you were out, did you?” He frowned, crossing his arms. “He was about to faint out of worry.” Crowley softened a bit with the information.

“Really?”

“Yes! He didn’t leave the office because you were there, he wanted to be there for you when you wake up; he was sick of worry, Crowley. I don’t know if he’s in love with you or not, I don’t understand about love issues between angels and demons, nor does Google, but… He loves you. He cares about you. He doesn’t want you to suffer. And so do I because of that. So, pay attention, care about your job, and make Mr Fell as happy as you can, as we are trying to do.”

Crowley glanced at his friend. He was speaking with two waitresses about things he couldn’t hear because of the distance. What Markus was saying was right; he knew how much the angel cared about him, but the whole situation was weird for him too. Despite those six long millennia, he was an entirely different being now. He was a human, from top to bottom; with new worries and all that shitty human stuff. It was weird; the time he took to brush his hair was insane, and also the nightmares, the biological needs, the taxes, for Satan’s sake! He had to pay taxes now! But Aziraphale was innocent. He hadn’t done anything to deserve his passivity. He had to change that.

“Okay. I’ll do this for him. But don’t tell him you scolded me like a kid, I may be a human now, but I am way older than all of you together. I am an adult.”

“Okay, behave like one and we have a deal.” Smiled the human. They shook hands, and their arrangement was sealed.

Aziraphale checked everything before the open hour. After a last visual check, he went to the hall, to Crowley’s desk. He was checking the list of reservations, but frowning, like if he was having difficulties with something, pen in hand. He looked at him with curiosity.

“Is it everything alright, dear?” The redhead stopped writing on the list to look at him.

“What? Yeah, all fine, angel. Ready for my first day.” Aziraphale smiled comprehensively.

“You don’t need your sunglasses here, Crowley.”

“I do need them, they…”

“Your eyes are not yellow.” The angel’s hand caressed the black tie with a delightful sigh. “White do suits you.” Crowley made a funny face, groaning.

“Too much white, angel. I am blinding myself; the lights make me shine like a sun.”

“Don’t get me wrong, but you do shine of beauty. White is pure, is grace, is…”

“I am not pure, angel. I am a human now, but deep inside, I am a filthy demon. A fallen angel, a danger to society. I was born to tempt and corrupt souls.” He smiled devilishly, sticking his tongue out. Aziraphale laughed with amusement.

“Of course! But now you have to tempt people to eat and pay for your flat. Let their souls out of this, okay? And…” He took his glasses off, and smiled again. “Oh, dear Lord. Your eyes are so beautiful I could fell in love with them.”

“Stop with that bullshit, angel, I hate these eyes.” He frowned. The angel sighed, keeping the glasses in his pocket.

“Well, I loved your snake eyes too, Crowley, but I also love to see the sky in your new eyes.” Once again, the demon softened upon his friend’s kind words.

“Shut up and sit down, it’s time to work.”

“Okay! Good luck, dear.”

Crowley mimicked his las sentence when the angel went away, sighing again. He had to accustom himself to his new situation as fast as possible. Otherwise, he would be fucked.

+++

Luckily, the day ended properly. All customers noticed the change; the restaurant owner’s _boyfriend_ was now working there, smiling politely, and taking them to their sits; recommending delightful dishes, and wishing everybody a good day. He even made a child stop crying when his pudding fell off from the table. It was very different and fresh. He was always serious, just focused on the angel; but now, he was being kind with them.

At the same time, for Aziraphale that had been one of the best days he had had in a long, long time. Accustomed as he was to see Crowley from time to time, now he was walking around the restaurant, smiling and being the king of the place. He still walked as if he was a snake with legs, but way righter, taller, and… He was really handsome to him. Like a charming prince.

By the end of the day, when he was still savouring his Demonic cake, Crowley sat down at his right, loosening his tie with a tired moan.

“How was my first day, _boss_?”

“Almost perfect, my dear Crowley.” He smiled, offering him a bite of cake. The demon took it without hesitation. “You’ve been a very good maître. The best of London, I presume.”

“Good then, because I’ll pay our flat with my earnings. How much will you pay me, angel? Could it be more if I smile at you? If I let you look at my butt as I walk around? Or if I wink at you?”

Aziraphale laughed when the demon winked at him.

“A popular restaurant means more money for its employees, my dear, so yes; if you are charming, then I will pay you better. And all of them, of course.”

“It’s settled then, angel. I’ll be charming and all I need to be to take this place to the top. Oh, yes, I’ve heard in the kitchen, are we going to take weddings?”

“Yes!” Really excited, the angel looked at him. “A couple called me this morning; they got engaged here last week, and they want this restaurant to be the place where they celebrate the banquet. Isn’t it lovely?”

“Well, I suppose we can do it, we have room for it, and enough waiters.” The angel’s eyes sparkled with joy.

“Yes! Yes! Oh, imagine the situation: a lovely bride, eyes shining with love, fluttered cheeks, ‘just married’ signs! The love in the air, the dances, the toasts…”

“You look like a cherub on its birthday, angel. Watch out.” Pointed he. There was a miraculous light on the ceiling over them. Some of the waiters who were tidying looked up at it, amazed. Aziraphale’s cheeks got red.

“Sorry, I got carried away. Light out.” The light disappeared. Crowley took the opportunity to end the Demonic cake in front of Aziraphale, who got open–mouthed.

“What have you done! That was my cake!”

“I’m hungry. What’s for dinner? I have needs now, you know.” The angel frowned, but not of anger. Indeed, he was quite happy; Crowley seemed to be more accustomed to his new situation.

“We can go to a Chinese if you want.”

“Okay then, I’ll change of clothes. Wait for me.” He mumbled, standing up. Aziraphale watched him go, and sighed again. He looked then at his empty plate. Jessica, one of the last waitresses in the saloon, smiled at him.

“He seems way calmer now, boss.” Mumbled, taking the plate and cleaning the table.

“Yes, I have seen it. Isn’t it marvellous?”

“Of course it is.” She recognised. “How is he doing back home? Is he okay?”

“I think he is doing an incredible job, but he had a nightmare last night, and now that I think about it, I am worried about that.” He said, hesitant. “What if he has another one today?”

“Well, how did he go back to sleep yesterday?”

“I got in his bed.”

“Really!? But… did you…” After a few seconds, the angel blushed.

“No! I didn’t do anything weird to him! I just laid next to him to keep him protected in his sleeping. I read a book while he slept.”

“Oh, thank God… I mean.” She cleared her throat. “Then, why don’t you just sleep with him again?”

“But… I don’t want to invade his privacy, nor his personal space.” Recognised the angel. “He has been like this since always, he doesn’t like hugs nor… “

“That doesn’t matter anymore boss, he’s a human now, and sooner or later he will need human contact. Caresses, hugs, all those things that give us self–esteem. Try by speaking with him, and if he rejects your idea, have for sure that he will face the consequences.”

“But I don’t want him to suffer any consequence!”

“Then you know what to do.” She smiled. “Sleep with him.”

Aziraphale thought about it while going to his office. After checking some paperwork, he spent the left time by watching at his own breath on that cold night. Crowley went out of the restaurant with some humans, and after a goodbye, they got into the car.

The demon put his hands over the heating –he had been always a cold–blooded snake, and now he was a freezing human. He looked at his friend, strangely quiet.

“It’s everything alright, angel?”

“Yes, yes.” He mumbled, hands grabbing the steering wheel strongly. “You know, dear, I have been thinking about your nightmare.”

“That was normal, Aziraphale, all humans have nightmares from time to time.”

“But not as yours, Crowley. You were crying, it was terrible, you trembled, you were deeply scared! And that scared me too.”

“Well, I am sorry. We do have two rooms in the flat, if you want to…”

“No! I would never move to another room knowing how do you suffer, for God’s Sake. What I am trying to say is… What if we, we…”

“We what? Say it, angel, don’t make me beg you, I hate when you hesitate that much.”

“Let’s sleep together, Crowley.”

The demon got open–mouthed. The angel kept driving for a moment, and expecting the answer, he parked the Bentley on a side of the road. Crowley closed his mouth and took his hands back to his lap.

“… What… the fuck did you just say, angel?” His monotone, and at the same time confused, tone made the angel feel a shiver down his spine.

“You didn’t have more nightmares after we shared the bed yesterday, and I don’t want to risk myself to seeing you having another, my dear.” He mumbled, really nervous. Crowley rubbed his hands against his face, taking his time to calm himself. What his friend was saying was stupid.

“No.” He said calmly. “We won’t share a bed again, and this is out of discussion. And now, drive.”

“But Crowley! I’m worried about you! It’s for your own sake!”

“I said drive, that’s stupid, shit, we won’t sleep together, and this conversation’s over!”

+++

Crowley woke up feeling wrapped in the angel’s arms. With a sigh, he closed his eyes again. After an uncomfortable silence, they got to the flat, and after a brief –and also silent– dinner, they went straight to bed. And… he suffered another terrible nightmare.

This time, it was even earlier in time; they were still in the Garden of Eden. Crowley was crawling next to Eve while she and Adam ate the apple when he heard a noise. He hid between some bushes, and watched the angel making his entrance. Flaming sword in hand, he opened his mouth with surprise.

“Oh no!” He yelled, dreadfully scared. “What have you done! You were not supposed to eat those apples!”

“But Guardian, we were hungry, and a snake told us to…”

“Shut it! I do not want to hear it! You have to go!” Walking towards the wall, with a movement, his flaming sword created a big hole in the rock. The pair left the apples bitten on the ground, covering themselves with leaves; they were suddenly afraid of their own nudity. “Now, come on, leave!”

“Thank you, Guardian.” Said Adam, helping his wife to cross the wall.

“Do not thank me, please. Here, take this sword, you may need it out there.”

Just after the couple left the garden, contrariwise to the original story, something happened in his dream. Crowley tried to cover his ears; he didn’t want to relive the dream, but he found himself there.

Gabriel appear inside a lightning, just like a thunder. He was wearing a white tunic, and his wings were beautifully arranged. He frowned at Aziraphale, who shrank of terror.

“What have you done, Aziraphale?”

“Me? nothing, Gabriel. I was just… Patrolling the area, as I was commanded.”

“Do not lie to me in my face, you, stupid angel. I was looking, and I have seen what you have done.” Mumbled the angel, seriously. The attempt of a smile the blonde had faded away. “You must be punished for giving your sword away, and for letting a filthy demon tempting the first humans.”

“But I did not do it on purpose!”

Crowley sat down on the bed shaking his head in an attempt of forgetting what happened next. That time he was successful because the light finally touched his face through the window. Anyway, all he did was look the painful fall of the sweet angel. It was terrible.

He looked around and saw Aziraphale sleeping beside him. When the angel woke him up, he spent a long time yelling at him; and after his heart got content, he gave him a tissue –because he had been crying of fear during his nightmare–, and mixed their beds to create a king size one for them. And now, they were sharing the resulting bed.

Aziraphale wasn’t as accustomed to sleep as he was, but luckily, after reading a bit and lying down beside him, he managed to sleep deep enough to remain asleep although he was up. Crowley left the master bedroom to go to the bathroom, and took a long shower. The fact of sleeping with the angel was kind of weird, but it seemed to be his only option for the moment.

While the coffee was on its way in the kitchen, he watered the plants. He meant to yell at them as usual, but that time he couldn’t. He took a leaf between his fingers, and rubbed it with care, but hesitant at the same time. Being a human meant more than what met the eyes; he couldn’t feel the plants’ fear, nor the presence of the angel in his bedroom. A lot of things were changing, and he wanted to keep up with the flow, but his brain didn’t seem to collaborate at all.

He opened the balcony’s window, and stepped out to take a deep breath. The sun was barely in the sky, it was pretty early. He leant on the rail, sighing again. A dove landed near him, and he looked at the bird for a second.

“I hope you’re not God, are you? Because I have too many things to tell you if that’s the case. 99% of them are insults.” He whispered. He turned around then to go back in to check out the coffee machine, but a sudden crash made him grasp, stopping his steps.

A pot from the balcony above his would have fallen over his head if it hasn’t been for the dove, who fled away scared.

Crowley looked over him. I was certain that there have never been pots on the balcony of his upper neighbour. It was in that moment when Aziraphale appeared on the balcony, panting in a hurry. He seemed really worried.

“Crowley! Are you okay!? What happened here?” The angel checked up his friend’s head before looking at the mud the pot had left behind on the balcony. “What was that!?”

“It was just an accident, angel, I am okay.” He whispered. The angel nodded, looking up again. He seemed to have gotten to the same conclusion as he did, because he frowned with worry.

“It… it wasn’t an accident, dear, I am certain.”

“Yeah, I suppose. Your Lot maybe? Or mine, who knows.”

“Let’s go back in, c’mon, Crowley.” He pushed the demon inside the flat again.

+++

The coffee was now done, and a cup of it was near to a British breakfast dish. Crowley sat down calmly, although his heart was pounding like crazy for the ‘accident’. Aziraphale sat down next to him, in front of his own meal. “I am afraid they could use this opportunity to try to kill you, my dear. You have to be careful from now on.”

“And how the fuck am I going to be careful, angel? I work in a restaurant and I live with you.” He groaned, tasting his hot coffee. “It’s like living with a neon sign that says ‘I am George Clooney promoting a coffee brand, please, throw me a piano’.”

“Why would a signal say that!? I don’t want you to be smashed by a piano! And who is that Clooney?” The demon smirked a bit; that one had been funny.

“I was joking angel, just calm down. What about this, let’s go to a jeweller and buy two rings.”

“Two rings?”

“Yes, I’ll wear one and you’ll wear the other.” He explained. “If you bless mine, then you will always know where I am, and I’ll be protected in case of more… ‘Accidents’ like this one.”

“Hm… It is not a bad option, my dear.” He smiled with excitement. “That way you could even drive again! And that would be the best that happens to me this week!”

“I appreciate your worries about my… Wait, did you just said that I could drive again?”

“Well, yes, if you wear a blessed object, you could survive to those kinds of… mechanical issues, like a terrible driving.”

Crowley, suddenly a bit off, looked at his friend and pointed out with his fork.

“Let’s get married then.” Aziraphale choked with his tea.

“What!?”

“It’s metaphorical, calm down, angel. Two rings, you know. Like in a marriage.”

“Oh! Yes. That’s right. Don’t freak me out again, dear. I don’t want to waste my tea.”

“I’m sorry.” Crowley smirked. “I know you’re dying to marry me anyway, angel. It has no point on deny it now.”

“Crowley! Don’t say that! You cheater demon.” The redhead laughed at him before standing up, ready to go out.

“Human, angel. Cheater human.”

+++

Jessica and John were open-mouthed while the demon checked the list of reservations of the day.

“Is it the table 2 ready?”

“Yes, yes, it is.” The waitress pointed at his golden ring. “Can you please explain it to us again?”

“You can’t be married, Crowley.” Mumbled John, as confused as her. “Do angels _marry_? Google doesn’t know!” The ex-demon smirked proudly.

“Google doesn’t know shit of these things, John, nor us.” She said calmly. “But you can’t marry, do you?”

“We are not married, Crowley, for God’s sake, can you please stop confusing my employees?” Aziraphale showed up in a hurry; the redhead had spent most of the morning inventing stories about how did they get their new matching rings.

“C’mon, it’s too funny to stop now.” He smirked, leaning over the list on the stand. The humans frowned at him.

“You were laughing at us!” She yelled with indignation. “You are an arse!”

“Pretty normal for a demon. “Mumbled John without hesitation. “And for humans. It’s glad to see that you have at least learnt the lesson.”

“Stop with the chatting now.” Aziraphale ended the conversation with a clap. “It’s time to open the restaurant, go to your spots.” When the waiters left them alone, the angel frowned at him too. The ex-demon just stuck his tongue out to him with amusement.

“What? I was just having fun. The rings work, I drove here at my usual speed without any problem.”

“And I understand that you are happy about that, my dear, but let’s just try to avoid standing out more, okay? Don’t get us into more troubles for a while.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll be good, I promise.” He gave up in the end, stretching out a bit. The angel watched patiently at the demon.

“I’ve blessed our rings to find you and help you out with your… new condition, dear, but let’s be honest: we…”

“We what?”

“We are…” The demon waited for the angel this time.

“ _We are_ , alright, you have the first part of the sentence. You can continue, angel.”

“We are fucked, okay? I’ve said it.” Now it was the turn of Crowley to get open-mouthed. “If we don’t watch out our steps, we are fucked. We have enough problems to add another one.”

“Okay, I get it.” He nodded. “But it was worth it, I heard you saying the ‘F’ word this time.”

“Oh, shut up. Good luck today.” Smiled the angel, happy again. Crowley nodded in approval, watching him step away.

+++

Crowley maintained his word and behalf during a whole month. With the blessed ring, he was able to drive his beloved car without problems, and he even went out alone a couple of times. In the restaurant, the customers got multiplied; he had a good tongue to convince people to go back; and the place was really worth the experience.

And back in the flat, well, they got accustomed one another pretty easily. Crowley watered the plants, Aziraphale organised the shelves to maintain the order, and both shared meals, TV shows at night, and also a king size bed.

The only difficulty was just that part of their life. Crowley was now a human, so he needed to sleep and fulfil some of his human biological needs, such as bathroom visits and food. That way they discovered that he was allergic to cinnamon –after a dreadful night at a hospital, the couple took that ingredient out of the flat’s kitchen–.

And, as they grew knowing each other better, something changed in the ex-demon’s mind. He cared more about himself, his home, his workplace, and his angel friend/fake husband. He even spent hours admiring his gold ring, as if it was some kind of real contract that tied his life to Aziraphale’s.

Until, one day, he noticed something that he didn’t like.

“Markus.” He found the waiter in the kitchen. That morning, the angel had a meeting in Heaven Headquarters, so he wasn’t around.

“Yes, Crowley?” The demon showed him the list of reservations for the day.

“Is it my imagination, or this guy has been sat in front of Aziraphale’s table 9 days in a row?”

“Hm.” He checked the list. “Yeah, he has been there before, I remember the name. Why? Is it something wrong?”

“I think so, yes. Don’t tell Aziraphale about this, but this guy… He spends his meals looking at him in a weird way.”

“ _Weird_ way?” The demon groaned a bit; he didn’t want to say it, but it was what his intuition was telling him.

“He gives him longing looks. I think he’s a toy boy looking for a sugar daddy, and Aziraphale is his objective.”

“Oh wow.” The waiter lifted his eyebrows with surprise. “That’s pretty… Specific. What evidences do you have to say that?”

“Every time that he comes, he asks ‘is Mr Fell here?’” He mimicked. “and he always sits down on the chair oriented to his table. That’s weird.”

“A lot of people look up to Mr Fell, Crowley, that’s not very revealing.” The ex-demon nodded, stubborn.

“He treats him to desserts, has tried to invite him to do other things out of the restaurant, and he has indeed made him sat down in his table twice to chat.”

“Well, that could be normal, that’s how friendships are made.”

“Not this one, believe me, I don’t like that stupid kid.” He groaned. Markus laughed at him.

“Okay, okay, I understand. But tell me, what about the rings?”

“The rings? What about them?” He looked at his hand. His blessed ring was still there, under his white cotton glove.

“Well, Mr Fell wears one, and you wear the other one. All our customers KNOW you _were_ his boyfriend, so now they have to know that you two are _married_. That’s a good barrier against flies.”

“Don’t tell me about flies.” He mumbled, still stubborn. “You just… Keep an eye on him, and if he does something weird, I’ll kick his butt out of _Our Place_ as fast as a snap.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll protect Mr Fell of everything. We already tried when we thought you were an arse.”

Crowley groaned again, but he felt enough comfortable to take the list back and head to his spot to open the restaurant. Jennifer came straight to him with curious eyes. The young girl had been thinking more about this issue than her co-workers; she seemed to be the only one to remember that the relationship between the angel and the ex-demon was quite different; and for her, things had changed… But precisely for that, she wanted to know where they were going.

“Hey Crowley! Can we talk for a minute?”

“Yes, sure.” The redhead looked at his pocket clock; it was compulsory as part of his uniform. “But try to be brief, customers will start coming soon.”

“Yeah, it’s just a slight doubt. How is it your life now as a human?” Crowley stared at her.

“Er, good, I guess?”

“Cool! And what about the bad part of being a human?” She smiled then. “How are you managing that?”

“The bad part? Oh! Do you mean the bathroom issue? It’s disgusting, I had a penis before, so I was accustomed to go there to pee twice a century, but now…”

“No! oh my goodness, I wasn’t speaking about that! Shut up!” She yelled angrily. “So gross, Crowley”

“You’ve asked, Jenny.”

“Yeah, I know, I’ll change my question.” Sighing, the lady gathered more patience. “You know, I’ve been asking my neighbourhood’s priest about how… Angels and demons love, and… Well, he looked at me as if I was insane, but what I want to know is… what do you feel about Mr Fell?”

“What do I feel?” Crowley frowned with a groan. “I don’t understand, Jenny. What do you mean? Aziraphale has never been a problem to me. He’s like that always, all happiness and fluffy emotions.”

“I’m not talking about thaaaaaat.” She sighed again, this time impatiently. Time was running out, and the man didn’t seem to understand what she was trying to say. “My point is love, Crowley. Now do you feel like us, don’t you? Your feelings must be different towards everything.”

“Like with the bathroom.”

“Yes! No! can you please forget about that?” The small grin on the man made her frown angrily. “You’re doing it on purpose?”

“Of course, milady.” He smiled. “I bet you’re talking about my feelings for Aziraphale, aren’t you?”

“Yes! You were worried for that man, weren’t you? Could that be that you’re jealous?”

“I’m not jealous, why would I be jealous of some candidate he has? Aziraphale has no sex at all, under his belly bottom he’s like a doll.”

“Oh my God…” She whispered in fear. Was that true? And how did he know that? And how do angels go to the bathroom!? Guessing her thoughts, he waved his hand, checking the time one more time.

“Don’t panic, okay? Angels don’t need genders, they are ethereal beings, he has that body only because of appearance, he’s not like that under his disguise. And of course, he doesn’t even need digestive organs.”

“Yeah… but… then…”

“He eats,” He explained. “tastes, swallows… and that’s all. He doesn’t need the rest.” He looked back at the list, adding an interrogative to the name of the man to be guarded. “The less you know about that issue, the better.”

“But… If he tastes food, so did you, and now you must feel like a being whose life span has decreased brutally.” Crowley looked at her. “And you can even go to Heaven after this life. Doesn’t it make you feel different? In any way?”

Crowley thought about that. He had been avoiding it because of the terror that went down his body every time, but she was right; sometimes, he felt different. As a demon he had a body with organs, and he got drunk and all, but at a different level. But it was quite normal; he had a heart, after all. He slept like a human, with his nightmares and his dreams, normal, weird, and sexual ones included. It was also weird for him to be living with another person –if Aziraphale could be labelled as one– without any intimacy but with some physical contact. Sometimes, he wanted to hug him, to feel his warm…

But that was only because now he was an imperfect being; a social one who wasn’t being treated as a human. He needed more contact than ever, but Aziraphale was still an angel; a being made of love who didn’t need to cuddle or to share contact to feel comfortable.

“Listen well, Jenny.” He leant onto the desk to get down a bit and look at her at the same level. “I’ve known Aziraphale since the beginning of times.” He stared at her so fondly that she shrank a bit. “He can be charming, funny, clever and stupid at the same time, innocent and beautiful as a fucking real angel in Earth. But I know his nature, I know it pretty well, and I cherish his friendship because of that, more than anything. I’ve always hated to think about it, but I love him. Because he’s my _friend_. Only. My. Friend. Do you understand?”

“… Yes. Your friend.” She repeated, lowering his shoulders with disappointment and sadness. “But as a human, you look like a jealous overprotective boyfriend.” She mumbled, stubborn, standing straight again. “Think about that the next time you try to protect him.”

Crowley watched her going back to the lounge and sighed. He didn’t lie; he loved the angel as a friend; and when he was a demon, that drove him angry. But he was now a human. If being friends before was a problem but they still were, now he had more reasons to maintain him as a friend.

The bell over the door rang; someone had just entered. His hands were wet, so he took his gloves off. Before he could put them back, the newcomer got to his desk.

“Welcome to _Our Place_.” He smiled politely until he saw the first name of the list in front of him. “Oh, what a surprise. Thomas.” The man smiled back.

“Tom, please. I have a reservation.”

“Of course you do.”

Crowley checked the man’s appearance. During almost two weeks, that man had been attending to the restaurant for lunch. The first day, he wore informal clothes, but when he smiled at Aziraphale and he wished him a good meal, he had been changing his style almost every day. Crowley knew the reason behind his behaviour; he wanted to check which style was more interesting for his angel.

That day, like the last three –the real reason why Crowley had noticed his intentions were precisely those looks he was wearing–, he was wearing black shirt, tight jeans, black ankle boots, and a leather jacket. It was so similar to his style without that snow penguin suit that he wanted to throw up. But he smiled instead, waving his hand.

“Please, follow me.” Tom followed him. Some of the waiters smiled at him, but Crowley felt a different atmosphere; Markus should have warned them, and they checked that, in fact, his look was quite similar to Crowley’s when he went to the restaurant as Aziraphale’s ‘boyfriend’. “Your table, as always.”

“Thank you.” The young man took the seat and move it around the table, under the sharp look of the ex-demon, which looked at him with the menu under his right arm. Tom sat down at the other part of the table, so he could look to Aziraphale when he came.

Crowley himself changed the cutlery to its new position, giving him the menu. Tom glanced at his bare hand with curiosity, and then their eyes met by chance.

“Your gloves got stained, dear friend?”

“Crowley.” He mumbled. “And…” He then noticed the golden ring. Aziraphale had one just like his. The inherent meaning in that made him smile devilish. “Yeah, sort of. I’ll wear them as soon as you feel comfortable in your seat, young man. A waiter will serve you right now.” Still smiling, he snapped with his hand raised, so the newcomer could see his ring properly. Markus came then to the table. “If there’s anything else I can do to bright your day…”

“Yes, do you know where is Mr Fell?”

“I am afraid he is busy right now.” He explained, showing a weird and a bit pansy accent. Markus seemed interested in their conversation; he noticed how condescending the young man spoke. Like if they weren’t a pleasant view. “But he never misses a meal in his favourite spot, in that chair.” The three of them looked at Aziraphale’s table. The cutlery was disposed for one, but there were two chairs. “Oh, I’m waiting my next free day with pressing needs; I want to sit down there again. In mine.” Tom glanced at him with sharp eyes. Markus tried to avoid smiling like a kid; it was pretty evident what was happening there.

“Is it yours? The other chair?” Markus made up a surprised reaction to help Crowley.

“Yes! Now that you say it, it’s been a while since you two ate together here, like… a month or so?” He whispered. Crowley smiled at his co-worker’s comment.

“Well, now I’m more than the boss’s husband, you know. I have duties.”

“Husband?!” Crowley smiled so thoroughly that something weird appear in his mouth.

“Yes, Mr Fell is my husband.” He mumbled proudly.

“Mr Crowley.” Markus made him turn around with fear in his eyes. “Your mouth.”

“My what?” He tried to look at himself. The waiter nodded.

“Fangs.” He whispered. “You have fangs.”

“Me? I don’t have fangs anymore, kid.” The human tried to make him understand with a gesture. Crowley took his hand to his teeth and touched a fang. It was longer than that morning. Then they turned back to Markus, and he softened his smile to avoid showing his teeth.

“Have a nice experience, and welcome to _Our place_.” He winked. As he went back to the desk, he asked with his eyes the help of a waitress.

Natasha followed him with confusion in his eyes. He asked for a pocket mirror, and when she handed him one, he opened it. He showed his teeth to look at his fangs. They were short as always, like a human’s. The waitress looked at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“How are my fangs, Natasha?” She nodded.

“Normal, as always, I suppose. Why?”

“They felt longer a moment ago.” He mumbled, giving her back her mirror. “Please, tell the cook to give Aziraphale a good feast today, okay? My treat.”

“Okay.” As she went away, Crowley put his gloves on again, thinking about what had just happened. He felt something weird taking control of his body. It was a feeling quite familiar, though. Like sinning of pride, maybe.

 _Oh, no_ , he thought. He almost had sinned, that was what he had felt. He sinned of pride when he felt he was lying perfectly to that human about his relationship with the angel. He tried not to worry thinking about being the target of a jealous demon or a darker plan from his old Lot. He was now an easy prey.

+++

Aziraphale came to the restaurant a half an hour later. The restaurant was bursting of life, with people enjoying delicious food like if there was no tomorrow. Crowley smiled charmingly to him, and offered a gloved hand to his friend. The angel smiled back, delighted with the offer, his eyes sparkling of excitement.

“Oh Crowley, what a surprising reception! What are we celebrating?”

“Well, Angel.” He explained, guiding the angel through the restaurant with the blonde grabbed to his arm. The customers weren’t surprised anymore; it had been a while, but finally, the couple they met eating together as the kings of the place were behaving as a marriage again. “It’s been a month since… our biggest change, you know, so I’ve prepared a small celebration. For being my guardian angel and keeping me alive. We’ve been together for six thousand years, and because I’ll live less now… I want to spoilt you until that time comes.”

“Oh dear!” The angel got open-mouthed with the feast on the table. All his favourite dishes of the restaurant were there. For an unknown reason, all the customers started clapping at the scene.

Tom was the only one who wasn’t clapping at them; instead, he was just staring the scene, letting the jealousy going down for his body. Crowley helped the angel to sit down on the table and kissed his cheek, making him blush like a traffic light.

Aziraphale looked at Crowley. He had his hand over his shoulder, and took it off slowly, with a grateful expression in his face. He seemed happy, and so did he. Back in Heaven they had scolded him for letting Gabriel being poisoned and fall to the other side; but for him, Crowley’s life was worth the risk.

“Crowley, my dear.” He mumbled. “Do you want to join me? This is too much just for me.”

“I’m working, angel.” He smiled. Even though he was not a demon anymore, he felt two daggers biting his back; Tom wasn’t pleased with the show. He was probably thinking of killing him; he was between his future sugar daddy and him. “I am afraid that I can’t accompany you now. But what about tomorrow? Just you and me. Like in the old times; when this was our secret.” Ended, pointing at themselves.

He could have asked, but he missed the fact of getting a human jealous, so he leant down a bit, and kissed the angel’s cheek again. Aziraphale got even redder, and smiled so brightly that the ceiling’s lightbulbs started to overcharge.

Markus cleared his throat, getting to the table to serve a glass of wine. He whispered, red of embarrassment.

“For God’s sake, you will cause a power cut, stop being so… Like that!” Crowley smiled again, getting back up.

“Sorry Markus, my bad. Enjoy your meal angel, my treat.” He winked. The angel sat down properly with guilty. The lightbulbs stopped overcharging, and he started eating.

Markus accompanied Crowley to his desk again, really serious.

“Okay, hear me out. I understand you are not being ‘jealous’ but cautious, but Tom can do whatever he wants, just like you… But don’t play with Mr Fell just for your paranoid behaviour.”

“Me? Paranoid? You’ve seen Tom’s personality, he’s a douche and a danger to my – _our_ angel.” He mumbled, stubborn. “Aziraphale is a celestial being, and he’s a mere human. One that I don’t like, and believe me, I’ve been a demon, so I can recognise bad people.”

“He’s a human, just like you.” He insisted. “You are the maître of this restaurant; Mr Fell’s restaurant. He should be our world, with love or without it. Put him above your own shitty thoughts, or you’ll face the worst consequence of all.

“Ngk.” The demon frowned, but nodded; he should behave. But he glared at the famous Tom when Markus got back to work. He didn’t like him. But luckily, the human’s frown of anger made him happier to continue his job with a pleased smile.

+++

At the end of the night, Aziraphale waited for Crowley in the outside. He seemed fluttered; he had eaten his favourite dishes, and the demon had kissed him for the first time. He could fly of happiness. Somebody was standing a bit far from him, behind a bus stop. Looking at him with too much interest.

The unknown was going to step out and go towards him, but the door got open. The waiters came out, chatting and laughing. Crowley was the last one, smiling calmly. The angel caressed his cheek.

“You look tired, my dear.”

“Yes, you’ll have to drive today. Do you mind it?”

“No problem.” The redhead waved at the humans to say goodbye and waited for the angel. When he closed the restaurant, they went together to an old but expensive car.

 _Wasted opportunity_ , Tom thought.

+++

At midnight, the Bentley parked in the garage. Angel and ex-demon got into the lift, one happier than the other. Crowley leant with his back on the mirror with a tired sigh, and Aziraphale looked at him with worry.

“Are you okay? You seem more tired than ever.”

“It’s normal to be tired angel, I’ve been working so hard today, there were too many customers.”

“I think it’s because of Tom.”

“Of who?” He asked, shocked, getting straight again.

“Thomas, the young man who sits in front of me; we’ve talked sometimes, and he is really friendly! He is also quite handsome, so he attracts girls. It’s a good way to get customers.”

“I thought it was my sensual voice.” He groaned. “Or my correctness, I am a sexy demonic butler, angel, even dressed in white. What about my compliments?”

“Oh, are you jealous, my dear?” Laughed Aziraphale. The redhead mimicked his question.

“Ngh, of course not, why would I be jealous of a man you praise? Angels are beings of love. It’s quite normal for you to love everybody.”

“Hey! That doesn’t sound good, Crowley. Said like that at least.” Both came out of the lift, Crowley before him. They both seemed a bit bothered. “Apologise.”

“I won’t apologise, angel, I didn’t say it with bad intentions, I’m just tired as fuck.” He groaned, opening the door. He started taking his clothes off through the corridor. The plants shivered a bit; they felt more from the human than that he was capable to feel about himself. Aziraphale closed behind him and followed the trace of clothes, picking them up.

“Don’t! swear, I don’t like it.”

“Well angel, I’m sorry but I am a human, so I have permission to swear, fuck, complain, and to kill somebody if I want.” He groaned again, angrily. “Good luck I am not an angel anymore, don’t I?”

“Don’t say that!” He yelled, collecting the rest of the clothes he had been throwing. “And can’t you be a bit better-mannered here? We’re living together, and that would be better for our cohabitation!”

“Better to who?” He complained again, looking straight to the angel, who shrank a bit for the surprise. “I could die tomorrow, I don’t have a boss who can make me suffer for centuries, what can I lose for doing what I want for a moment? You just can love because you know nothing about other feelings, angel, so why should I apologise for highlighting the obvious? People can feel bad, so welcome to the world.”

“But _we_ are living here, Crowley, not just you.” With his eyes starting to water of worry, the angel grasped the clothes in his arms stronger. “I don’t want you to suffer, I, I just, just want… You are my only friend.”

Crowley lowered his shoulders when the angel started crying. He had made him suffer. _Fuck_ , he thought. _This is what jealousy means?_ He sighed, and took his clothes from the angel’s hands to hug him. He let them over the coach while Aziraphale hugged him back, calming his sobbing.

“Okay, okay, I got carried away, angel. I’m sorry, I’m deeply sorry.” He mumbled, caressing his friend’s back and hair, trying to calm him faster. “It sucks to be a human, it’s… Like being inside a bomb you can’t control, I didn’t even want to tell you that you love everybody in a bad way. I swear.”

“I know dear, it’s just that… Am I not reliable? I just want you to be happy. “He whined. “Back in Heaven they don’t know what to do without Gabriel, and I am afraid they fear me, and that could be our end, and without my miracles, we could end dead forever, and, and…”

“Hush, angel, don’t think about that.” Crowley looked around the flat. Plants and books, tartan mattresses and fancy furniture. It was a place where two people were living, not just a selfish one. He sighed, resting his cheek over the angel’s head. “I got jealous.”

“Jealous?” Aziraphale tried to look up, but he was trapped between his friend’s arms, so he only could look at his shoulder. “You?”

“Yes. That Tom… I don’t like him at all. You know I’ve been doing things while you read in your bookshop, I am a night creature.”

“Yes, but what do you want to say, my dear?” They finally broke their hug to look at each other. The demon thought about it briefly. He was reluctant to answer, but it could be better if the angel in fact knew what was going on.

“Ngh… I know some behaviours, bad ones, that move inside human’s mind. I bet that guy is one of those who lives at expenses of another people’s money. And that he wants you to be his new benefactor.”

“Me? he’s like Mr Shadwell?”

“No, not like him.” He denied. Aziraphale broke the contact they still had to take the clothes, and with a miracle, leave them as new. He bended them while the demon looked. “He is a kind of person that gives something in exchange of other things.”

“But that’s not bad, it’s like a job…”

“Let me finish, angel.” He crossed his arms while speaking. “Sex in exchange of money, a place where to live, and some other whims.”

“Sex! Like a prostitute?”

“A luxury one, more or less, yes.” He continued. “They give some exclusivity to the person who spends money on them, as a kind of reward. It’s a mutually satisfactory relationship.”

“Like a contract? Oh, good Lord, that sounds terrible.”

“I know. I recognised that in him, and that’s why I treated you like my husband today, with the kisses and the feast.”

“Your what!?” Yelled the angel, open-mouthed. Crowley shrugged.

“Husband. The customers already thought we were lovers, and I wasn’t wearing my gloves when he appeared.” He explained. “You and I are wearing blessed rings, but they match, so I tried to use the confusion as a weapon to avoid him messing with you.”

“Oh… I… Don’t exactly know what to think about this, Crowley.” He mumbled, letting the bended clothes over a chair nearby. “He seems a good person to me.”

“You are quite innocent, angel, that’s why I’m telling you this. I want you to be as safe as you want me to be. We both care about each other, aren’t we? Then there you have my reasons.”

“Yes, I know that. Hm.” The angel thought about it, and the redhead yawned. He noticed the tiredness of his friend, so he smiled calmly. “Go to bed, it’s time to sleep. Tomorrow will be another day.”

“But what about Tom?” He complained. Aziraphale smiled when he heard the way the name was expelled by the ex-demon’s mouth.

“I promise you that I will think about it, but it’s time for you to go to sleep. I’ll join you soon, okay?”

“Okay. Good night, angel.”

“Good night, my dear.”

The angel took his coat off, and Crowley went straight to the master bedroom. But that conversation had been weird enough to take a book, and sit down on one of his favourite armchairs, one that belonged him in the bookshop, to think. As a human, Crowley was being quite different; more passionate in general, which was quite fresh, but he had also the typical inconveniences humans have; he was unpredictable, and of course, easily influenced towards evil.

What if because of their friendship, he ended in Hell when he died? Would it be good or bad? He wasn’t sure of Hell’s impression on him now. He had always been in the edge between good and evil, and all because of him. Aziraphale decided, later in the night, to take a look at Tom’s behaviour the next day. If he was a bad person as Crowley said, he himself would take part in the situation.

+++

That new day started with a heavy rain falling over London. Dark clouds predicted a bad day for a fancy restaurant like _Our Place_ , because it would be difficult for customers to attend with collapsed streets. Because of this, the two friends decided to take the bus. Aziraphale had forgotten that Crowley was incapable to sleep without him, so when he went to bed at 3AM, the redhead was half asleep in his side of the bed.

For that reason, with his white uniform under a black raincoat, he leant his head on the blonde’s shoulder to sleep a couple of minutes. Aziraphale bended his newspaper, and wrapped his shoulders with one of his arms to make him more comfortable. He had spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how to see Tom’s real intentions, but he had no clue.

A kid stared at them from his seat, sitting on his mother’s legs. He smiled kindly, and made a silence signal with his free hand. The kid laughed a bit, making his mother look at them. She turned the kid to give them his back. Aziraphale looked up at the sky with a sigh. He hoped to see a rainbow after the rain, as a silent signal of good luck for them, but the rain just got worse.

+++

Jennifer was the first one greeting the couple as they got into the kitchen, Crowley yawning. Aziraphale smiled at her, and let the newspaper over a table.

“Good morning, dear girl, how are you?” Crowley went straight to the coffee machine for the employees. She followed him with curious eyes, asking silently to his boss. The angel smiled more. “He hasn’t slept pretty well because of me, I am afraid.”

“Because of you? Did you two finally!?”

“Of course not, young naughty girl.” Groaned the demon, already in white, leaning over an empty part of the kitchen, sipping coffee. “He slept on the coach and let me having nightmare after nightmare.”

“Crowley, I’ve already said that I am sorry for that, I was reading and I forgot!”

“I know angel, but that won’t give me back the rest I lack of now.”

“Oh, I see.” The girl nodded, trying to hide her embarrassment. “The bride has called, she wants to ask you a favour, Mr Fell.”

“Oh, sure, what is it?” Smiled the angel. Crowley ended his coffee and tied his black bowtie.

“She wants to dance with you a Waltz during the reception.”

“With me?” Aziraphale opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish. “But I can’t! I’m not the bride’s father!”

“She’s not talking about the first dance, angel, don’t worry.” The ex-demon looked at the waitress with a negative nod. “She can’t dance, Jenny.”

“Why not? Is he clumsy?”

“Not exactly. Angels can’t dance in general. It took him decades to learn the Gavotte.” He explained. Aziraphale was red until his ears, but nodded in agreement. She looked back at them, pretty confused.

“Angels don’t dance, he’s right, my dear girl. And I am a slow learner so I’m afraid I won’t be able to dance the wedding day.”

“Oh, but I already said yes.” She moaned sadly. “I am sorry, boss.”

“Hm.” Crowley rubbed his chin with his fingers.” You actually could, I think.”

“Really?” They both asked with curiosity.

“Yes, a Waltz is way easier than the Gavotte angel, it only needs two people, and it’s a three-step dance.” He explained. “Jenny, please, take two waiters and get room for us in the lounge.”

“Are you going to teach me, Crowley?”

“Yes, of course.” He grinned. The angel showed a look of doubt.

“I’ve seen you dancing, my dear, that’s exactly why I am reluctant to believe in your… skills to dance a Waltz.” Crowley dispatched the lady with a wave and got closer to his friend, his now-blue eyes shining of pride.

“Two things, angel: everybody can dance a Waltz, and Freddie Mercury loved to dance that stupid thing when he was drunk as Hell. I’ve seen him dancing it, and I’ve danced it with him a million times. You’ll be fine, believe me.” He grinned.

He then took a blank paper and wrote something on it. The angel remembered Freddie’s friendship with the demon, and how sad he got when he died, but that was a story for another day. He read the signal he had prepared.

“Dance in practice, do not disturb?”

“Yes. We’ll put this outside.”

“Do you mean!?”

“Yes.” His smile got bigger. He loved seeing the angel getting scared because of him; it was his guilty pleasure. Well, one of those related with Aziraphale. “We’re going to dance while our customers eat. That way you’ll get the motivation to learn faster.”

“But you are the maître, Crowley, you can’t let the customers unattended!”

“We have Markus for that, don’t we?”

+++

Tom was still angry for what had happened last night. He had tried to speak with the owner of the restaurant, but he saw him get in the car with the redhead. That was not the first time he got into a married couple; it was quite normal, in fact. It was indeed a good option, because a lover can get whatever he wants of the husband or wife; they usually don’t want them to end their marriage, which give them more power.

But he didn’t expect that outcome; this time, they actually worked together. That is why he was trying to meet Mr Fell outside the restaurant, with no luck so far. He smiled with relief when he saw another Maître that time. Markus welcomed him with a smile.

“Mr Thomas, it’s been a long time.” He laughed a bit.

“Yes, isn’t it? The same table as usual.”

“Of course.” While he checked the list, he heard something unusual; there was a piped music. He frowned.

“Excuse me, is there something special today? I can hear music.”

“Yes, it’s a Waltz. Today we have something like a dinner with show.” Markus smiled, guiding him through the restaurant. He suddenly saw what was going on: on the higher part of the lounge, some tables had disappeared, and behind a warning signal, Aziraphale and Crowley were dancing.

He stopped, open-mouthed, to see the show.

+++

Crowley was crystal clear from the start: he would firstly teach Aziraphale the Waltz basic movements by guiding him, and when he had learnt the lessons, he would lead the dance. In that moment, and after almost half an hour learning how to move the feet, the angel’s face couldn’t be redder; he wanted to die of embarrassment, which was not letting him learn anything properly.

The ex-demon’s left hand was on his back, and they were holding their other hand. His left hand was on Crowley’s shoulder. They were moving quite slowly, not just to avoid stumbling, but also to check that the angel had learnt the base of the dance.

“You’re still too rigid angel, try to be less a statue and more a person.”

“I can’t Crowley, my mouth is dry, and I am dying of embarrassment!” He whispered. Around them, the customers were having fun with the show, even clapping from time to time. They knew Aziraphale was trying, so they were being kind of comprehensive. “Release me, tricky demon.”

“I am not a demon anymore angel, you just have to stop if that’s what you really want to do.” He complained, still dancing. “Otherwise, shut it and let me do what I do best.” They moved around a bit faster. “Look, the only thing you have to do is focus in me and have fun; that way it will be easier for you to learn the dance.”

Tom sat down behind Aziraphale’s back. Crowley saw him in a glimpse, and smiled gallantly to his friend. Half of the plan was actually to teach him to dance the waltz, but the other half was to take advantage of the opportunity to cast that stupid human out of their lives.

He made Aziraphale spinning around before attracting him again to his body. The angel, as the other times he had to do it, frowned, deeply embarrassed. The public was way more pleased than him to seeing them dancing.

“C’mon angel, I know I’m not as bad as you’re making me think, Freddie never complained about my movements.”

“Don’t say that.” He mumbled. Finally, his shoulders began to stretch and relax, making it easier for Crowley to move them around. Some customers, Tom included, looked at the scene very interested.

“What? About me being bad?”

“Of course, but… Freddie. I don’t…” Crowley leant his head towards his right while making Aziraphale spin again. “like you to mention him.”

“Why? This isn’t the first time I’ve mention him.”

“But you get sad when you remember him, his death hurts you.”

“Oh.” He smiled, kissing his friend’s cheek impulsively. He cleared his throat while they kept moving. “I saw him down there and he was fine, it’s a closed chapter of my life.”

“But you won’t see him again now that you are a human, my dear.”

The dance ended, and they stopped moving. Around them, people clapped; Aziraphale had finally danced properly. He was ready to guide Crowley, and whoever he wanted. The redhead, really moved for his friend’s worries towards his mental health, kissed him again in the cheek. And this time, it was more for him that for his evil plan to cast Tom out.

“And what? I have you now, Aziraphale. You’re all that I need. Who needs Freddie Mercury having you instead?”

“Oh, well.” Blushing again, the angel took his hands off his friend, and smiled with embarrassment. “I think we have had enough for today and I am starving. Can we eat?”

“Yeah, sure. This is enough, you can dance now.”

“Good!” Getting himself back, the angel took the warning signal, and bowed to his public. “Thank you! You have been very supportive, sorry for having disturbed your meals! Today the desserts will be for free!”

The customers clapped stronger, happy with his decision. Crowley stood up behind Aziraphale, but looking straight to Tom’s eyes. He hid an evil smile again when he read the anger on the human’s body language. He was clenching his jaw, shoulders squared, ready to throw a punch to his face. He didn’t even seem to have started eating yet, as focused as he was on them.

What a sweet victory was revenge.

+++

“Crowley.” John, one of the waiters, came to him after the restaurant’s closing time.

“Hey Johnny, what’s up?”

“I need you to go for an extra champagne bottle.”

“Now?” The man nodded.

“The famous bride just called Mr Fell; she wants a specific one.” He handed him a bended paper. He read the luxurious letter of the angel with the name of the champagne. “He said you can handle the seller for a good price.”

“Yeah, sure, I know a place that sells this brand, the owner’s a friend. But does he need it now?”

“He says the lady will come personally to check it tomorrow morning.”

“Sweet Satan, brides are crazy these days.” He complained, putting his coat on.

“Not only these days, man, they are always crazy.”

“Yeah, whatever, it’s not far, I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“Okay, good luck. And what a show, you’re a good dancer.” The ex-demon grinned pleasantly.

“Of course I am, kid.”

Crowley left the restaurant and headed down the cold streets. It had stopped raining, but the temperature was terrible. He missed being a demon, even though he was a snake, because he could now feel better the temperature, and it was freezing.

He passed between two cars and got into a lonely alley. And then, he stopped walking. He had been a demon long enough to recognise when somebody was chasing him.

“Whatever you want, I recommend you to think it again and go back home, kid.”

“That’s really interesting for you to say, Mr Crowley.” The stranger got closer, and he turned around to see him. Tom smiled; his intentions were clear as soon as he saw the brass knuckles he was wearing on his right hand.

“I don’t know your plan at all, but if you hit me, you’ll only get Mr Fell to pay me more attention. Do you know it?”

“Of course, and I also know that if I hit you with too much strength, you could die, because you are old and seem to be about to collapse.”

“Thanks, but I am not skinny, just slim.” He smiled, maintaining his cover of calm. Tom got closer, standing up three meters away.

“Listen, I don’t want to hit you either, so let’s make a deal instead, okay? Your health for your car. What do you say?”

“Two things.” He hissed. He didn’t even take his hands out of his pockets, but he had them clenched in fists. He could try to hook on Aziraphale, but his car? He would die for his Bentley, for Satan’s sake! “I don’t see my benefits with that offer, and this is even worse than trying to steal my angel from me.”

“Yeah, I suppose. But today, while I saw you dancing, I understood that I had no chance with him. He seems to like slim bastards as you, I am too much for him.” He recognised. He got a meter closer. Crowley stretched his back to be as tall as he was as a silent warning. “But anyway, old pansys’ butts are too wasted. So, instead of a loosen fag, I’ve chosen a fancy car with its original parts.”

Crowley felt his heart pounding on his ears, his jaw angrily clenched. He could understand that Aziraphale was too old for a young human, and even that he preferred to sell a stolen car to get money… but he was insulting a real angel. A fucking 6000 years old angel.

His angel.

He let the words go out of his mouth in a hiss, feeling every one of them with his rotten ex-demon soul.

“If you ever say that about Aziraphale again, I’ll personally make you suffer a slow, terrific pain. I’ll smash your brain over my car, hit your guts with it, and take you to a tunnel wash to see your blood being cleaned off my windshield.” Surprisingly, the human didn’t seem to be scared of his warning. He just grinned at him like he did earlier in the restaurant.

“Too much courage for a skinny fag as you, Crowley. Okay then, I’ll just steal your car’s keys with the mere promise of killing you if you try to denounce me.”

Crowley hung down to avoid Tom’s first punch, taking his hands out of his pockets. He was accustomed to fight down in Hell; it was one of their most important laws – _Know how to fight or you’ll be killed_ , said the signals–, but as a human, he should have figured out earlier that he wasn’t as fast as a twentysomething. He received a second punch directly on his cheek, making him fall to the ground, behind a black van.

Tom jumped over him, and started hitting him with anger. He had always been a good man, but an unlucky one, or that is what he liked to think. He had run out of money, he had debts, and that stupid pansy wasn’t going to fall in his trap. He chose then that the car could be a good temporary substitute, because it seemed expensive, and he also wanted to hit Crowley, so it was a 2x1 offer.

Rain started pouring suddenly over them, mixing with Crowley’s blood. He felt, aside from the younger’s strikes, the unconsciousness calling for him. He knew that the blessed ring he was wearing would have already called Aziraphale, so it was a matter of time, but his human body didn’t have that time. He stretched his right arm desperately to pick something.

His hand took a broken brick, and he hit Tom with it with all his will, making him fall on the ground, confused, and with blood on his forehead. With anger running through his veins, he got up and jumped back over him, brick in hand, ready to smash it against him.

He started hitting him with all the strength he had left, panting, and feeling his blood dripping for his chin along with the rain. He heard a continuous buzz on his ears, making him deaf to anything else; nor the cars on the main street nearby, nor the dry sounds of the brick on the human’s head.

He was about to kill Tom with his hands.

“First you insult Aziraphale!” He shouted while hitting him. “And now you try to kill me for a car!? You fucking son of a-”

But suddenly, he overheard something. Tom was already unconscious on the ground, and the brick was in the air, waiting to fall again. Still panting, with his face covered in blood, he lifted his gaze to the shadow a lamppost was projecting behind him.

And he saw it. A demon’s profile instead of his. _So that’s it_ , he thought. That’s how tempted humans felt when they fell in the trap. He looked back again, and saw Tom’s face. He was almost unrecognisable, his face was destroyed and covered in blood –both bloods, his and him–.

He left the brick fall from his frozen hand, and he crawled to lean his back on the Van. He spitted blood. The pain was starting to win over the adrenaline.

“I…” He whispered painfully. His arms rested over his wet knees. “I could have been a… Fallen angel, God. But I am… not a murderer.” His head fell over a bit. “Fuck, God, your testing system… Sucks.”

“¡Oh, for God’s sake!”

With a snap, it stopped raining in the alley. Crowley could only open an eye, but when he did it, he saw Aziraphale. He was blurry, closing a white umbrella, and running to them. He kneeled on the ground next to him.

“Crowley! What happened!”

“Long story, no time.” He spitted again. He was still bleeding too much. “Save him, hurry up.”

“But you!”

“Him!” Aziraphale turned around to look at the human, and with a wave, he healed him completely. Tom started snoring, safe and sound. The angel saw the brass knuckles on his hand, covered in blood and wet, and turned again to Crowley.

“He tried to?”

“Yes, maybe.” He panted, feeling again the hug of unconsciousness calling. “A demon tried to tempt me to kill him. I think that was his real plan, maybe.”

“Don’t speak, you look terrible, dear, let me heal you first.”

“Don’t dare, angel.” He whispered, more fainted than awake. “I have to… Heal as a human. That’s what I am now.”

“But you haven’t seen yourself! You are too hurt to!”

“They! Tried… To tempt me, and I didn’t fall.” He mumbled, leaning to his left. “This is… what I need to remember that…” we all can fall.

And he fell unconscious. Aziraphale got so scared that he forgot about the rain, so it started pouring again over them. He took his friend on his arms, trying to sort his thoughts to act properly. He looked around then, to the sleeping man, the brick covered in blood, and his umbrella, wet and stained a few meters away. He lifted his face to the sky in panic, asking for a miracle. A real and desperate miracle, directly to God. He was told not saving him, so he wouldn’t, but the Almighty certainly could. She owed them.

“God, please, save him. Save your beloved child. I beg you.”

Suddenly, an ambulance began to be heard in the distance.

+++

The nurse got into the room silently. Crowley was sleeping in the bed, covered to his chest, with his face covered of patches and his hands bandaged. Aziraphale, who was sitting on the coach next to the bed, got up taking his glasses off. He was reading an old book that left over his seat.

“Good morning.” Smiled the nurse. Aziraphale nodded, approaching the bed to caress the redhead, a bit off. “How is he?”

“Still sleeping.” He mumbled; voice broken of worry. He had read as much as he could about healing times in human’s wounds, but he wasn’t sure about how much time would it take for a man like Crowley to open his eyes after such beating. “How long will take him to wake up, miss?”

“Well, the doctor said a couple of days, the surgery was a success, but now it’s up to him when to wake up.” She explained. “It was a miracle for him to survive, and without any scars. He’s very lucky.” Aziraphale kept brushing his hair with his fingers.

“Yes, he is. God’s mercy is… God is really merciful.”

“Yes.” She looked at the blonde with comprehension. “Can I ask…” Aziraphale lifted his eyes towards her, making her blush a bit. “How long have you been… Together?”

“Almost all our life, miss.” He sighed. “I’ve known him since the beginning of time. I could have saved him but he’s so… Stubborn…”

“I’m sorry.” She said when the man’s eyes started to water. “I didn’t mean to, sorry, sorry, please, don’t cry, Mr Fell.” He calmed down swallowing his worry.

“I won’t.” He smiled. “I promise. Sorry, dear miss.”

“Don’t apologise. Oh, yes, a young lady has just left, and she brought a small bouquet, it is in the reception.” She explained. “It’s for Mr Crowley. Please, take it here as soon as possible.”

“I’ll do, thank you.”

When the nurse went out of the room, he looked back at Crowley. He sighed; it wasn’t just a miracle that he had survived; it was all Her intervention. She put the ambulance nearby; she set all the traffic lights green for them, and she supervised the whole intervention to assure his friend’s survival. It was the Almighty’s mercy. He had no proves, but he had no doubt either.

He hadn’t left the hospital since. But the surgeons said two days, and they had been there four so far. He leant over his friend, leaving a kiss on his forehead.

“I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, Crowley, my dear.” He whispered. “I’ll bring you the flowers Jennifer told us by phone earlier. Do you remember? She called you.” He took Crowley’s smartphone from the desk. “But I answered the call. Don’t move, okay?” He smiled.

Then he left the room in a hurry. He didn’t even try to go to the lobby’s cafeteria. He hadn’t eaten in those days; he didn’t need it anyway, and he wasn’t going to eat with his friend there.

As soon as the blonde left the room, Crowley opened his eyes with a guttural groan. He felt his throat dry, his body as heavy as a rock, and his head hurt like Hell. He looked around him as he could. He saw Aziraphale’s glasses and book on a coach; the white sheets, and the medical equipment blipping beside him.

“Ngh.” He growled. He tried to keep his focus on the ceiling, avoiding the lightbulb. “God… You better go to suck my-”

“Mr Crowley!” The nurse came back with the doctor, and she smiled deeply happy. “I’m so glad to see you awake!” The nurse tried to find Aziraphale. “Has Mr Fell gone out? For the flowers! Oh.” She mourned. “Has he seen you awake?”

“No… I guess.” He moaned. He didn’t know who they were, but he expected them not to be demons in disguise. The lady left the room partially, looking for the angel. The doctor turned to him.

“I am Henry Patel, your doctor. How do you feel? Do you remember anything about what happened to you four days ago?”

“Four?” He coughed. His throat was killing him. The nurse waved at somebody in the outside, and got away from the door. Running with a bouquet in his arms, Aziraphale appeared then, completely blushed and panting, eyes sparkling of relief.

“Crowley! Oh! You are awake!”

“Bad timing to left the room, angel.” He grinned. The angel left the flowers carelessly over the chair, and grabbed his left hand. On the right, the doctor smiled again, checking his condition.

“Mr Fell, Mr Crowley has just awakened, don’t worry, you’ve missed nothing.”

“Oh, thank God. – He smiled too. His other hand brushed the red hair with care. “How are you feeling, dear?”

“I want to die because of the pain, so I think I’m alright. “He coughed again. The blonde offered him water from a glass with a straw.

“I was trying to ask Mr Crowley what he remembers about the incident.”

“Oh, I see.” Aziraphale looked at him with a significant look. Crowley imagined the meaning: don’t denounce Tom. He figured out the other man was safe and sound because he remembered something with the angel healing him on the alley.

“I’m… I’m blank about that. I’m sorry.”

“Well, that’s not a surprise anyway.” He nodded. After a fast checking upon the man’s response, he and the nurse left the room. He looked straight to Aziraphale’s hand over his.

“Should I suppose that you saved him?”

“Yes, he was still alive when… I found you.” He nodded. “Oh Crowley, I am so sorry, you were right, he is a bad person, he almost killed you!”

“And I almost killed him, angel, don’t be afraid.” He explained calmly. The angel sat down on the edge of the bed.

“You really hit him with the brick, didn’t you?”

“Yes, it was the only thing that I could find. I was tempted to kill him. “He growled. “It’s a shit being in the other side, a good temptation is really hard to avoid.”

“But you avoided it, I am so proud of you, dear.”

“I stopped only because I recognised it, angel.” He complained. “I saw a demon’s shadow in my own shadow; otherwise I would had killed him.”

“Well, that’s all in the past now.” The angel waved, healing most of the wounds the redhead had. He sighed with relief; he now felt less pain than before. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to keep working on the restaurant.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to, angel? Has he kept coming?”

“Yes, that’s what Markus has told me. And…”

“Have you stopped attending the restaurant?”

“You are in a hospital, Crowley, of course I’ve stopped! For God’s sake, you almost died that night!” He yelled. “But it’s all settled anyways, they don’t need me there all the time.” He calmed down with a deep breath. “Crowley, he stole your car. Well, sort of.”

“My car?! – Aziraphale covered his mouth with his free hand to avoid the huff.

“Calm down, my dear; I supposed he would do it as revenge or something; I don’t know what made him attack you in the first place, but… A policeman was _miraculously_ near when he did it, so he was arrested. That’s the last thing I heard about him.”

“He touched my car, angel? Did he drove it?” The angel nodded.

“He opened the door. I got John to keep an eye on it while I was here, and sent it later to our garage with another miracle when nobody was looking. The Bentley has been safe and sound since then.”

“Sweet Satan, thank you.” He smiled relieved. Aziraphale laughed a bit. They were still holding hands; Crowley had noticed since the start; but with a last grip, he released his hand to scratch his chest distractedly. “Hear me out angel, I don’t mind him, it’s all settled now. He probably won’t remember what happened thanks to you, so I can face him without problem.”

“Are you sure?” The human agreed.

“Of course. That restaurant is _Our place_ , isn’t it?”

Aziraphale showed a bright smile.

+++

Two days after Crowley’s awakening, they left the hospital, and went straight to their flat in Mayfair. Crowley wouldn’t have any scar thanks to Aziraphale and he felt way better, so the next day he drove his beloved Bentley to the restaurant.

Just to enjoy the moment, he did it slower than normally. The part of him that was wishing for that moment to be eternal wanted to put an arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders; that way, he could have his two beloved things at reach… But he didn’t want the situation to be weirder; it was weird enough with his evil grin on the steering wheel.

 _We are the champions_ by Queen was playing on the radio. Freddie, from Hell, was also happy for him. Or that’s what he always thought –that Freddie spoke to him through the car.

+++

The couple shared a lovely breakfast in their table; the angel savoured each bite, and they even shared a few dishes, feeding each other with a smile. There was nothing like feeling alive to be happy. After the breakfast was over, Crowley kissed the angel’s cheek in gratitude, before going to his spot.

He was putting his gloves on when the bell rang. Tom got into the restaurant just in time, as always. The waiters looked at him with anger, but they were working. However, Natasha touched Aziraphale’s shoulder for him to look up. In the exact moment he saw the man in front of Crowley, he stood up.

“Mr Crowley, what a surprise.” Tom did certainly seem a bit worn out; after a couple of nights sleeping in a cell, he had to call his parents to pay the bail, and now he was as lately: with his living expenses below the line of the acceptable. That was his last opportunity; if the pansy owner of the restaurant didn’t bite the bait, he would be fucked. “You’ve been absent for days; did you get a cold or something?”

“Yes, sort of.” He nodded. He tried as hard as he could to avoid clenching his teeth; he promised that he wouldn’t mind greeting him ever again, but he couldn’t avoid remembering the way he spoke about Aziraphale; his true self disgusted him. “Let me guess, same table as always?”

“Hello.” Smiling politely, Aziraphale came directly to them, and hung of Crowley’s forearm, for his surprise and Tom’s.

“Oh, hello, Mr Fell.” Smiled the young man, confused. Crowley looked at the blonde too. What were his intentions?

“Hello, Tom.” He repeated. “I am so sorry for my manners, dear friend, but my husband here-” The demon tried not to open his mouth. They were officially husbands? Since when?! “and I have been speaking lately.” Tom nodded, not sure at all of what was happening.

“… Okay?”

“And.” He continued. “We’ve come up to the conclusion that you are… Not welcomed here anymore.”

“What?” Tom asked, open-mouthed. Crowley looked at Aziraphale as if he had a thousand eyes on his face. When did they discuss that? He didn’t mind at all that decision they had supposedly made, but he wasn’t warned about it! “Why? I didn’t do anything to deserve the exile, Mr Fell.”

“You did indeed, my dear Tom.” He explained, grabbing Crowley’s forearm tightly. He caressed the angel’s hand calmly, making him relax his body. “You’ve been chasing me behind his back, and it took me too long to notice.” He looked at Crowley with a loving smile. The other man smiled back with relief. “And I am afraid to tell you that I’m not interested at all.”

“I… Supposed I got caught red-handed.” Tom stared angrily the way Crowley’s hand was touching Aziraphale’s, but taking a deep breath, he faked an elegant smile. “I should retire then. My apologies, gentleman. Wrong interest, I guess.”

“That’s it.” Smiled the angel. “I’m so sorry if I ever made you think you had a chance, because you never had. Never.”

“I bet he has understood, angel, don’t worry. Do you still want to have lunch here, Mr Thomas?”

“No, not today. I have to… Sort my feelings out before coming here again.”

With a head bow, he left the restaurant. Crowley looked at Aziraphale, asking with his blue eyes. The angel just kissed his cheek with a brief sigh.

“I am deeply sorry for taking so long, my dear.” Crowley’s heart began to pound in his chest. What was he talking about? The angel smiled brightly in response. “But finally, I got to defend your honour. Nobody will ever bother you again. I promise.”

“Oh, you were talking about… Sweet Satan angel, I almost threw my heart out.” He growled with relief.

“You? Why?” The angel put his hand over the black bowtie, but Crowley took his hand off him.

“Customers, angel, I should keep working.” The bell rang again, and a couple entered in the restaurant. Aziraphale agreed.

“Oh, yes, and I have some paperwork to do, I’ve been out for too long. Have a good day, dear.” With shaky hands, the redhead checked the list slightly off the situation.

“You too, angel, you too.”

+++

Tom walked down the street incredibly angry. How could he! He wasn’t aware at all of his movements, so it should have been the slim bastard who had denounced him. It was all his fault, he thought, hitting a can with his foot. He bet it had been him who called the police when he tried to steal his stupid car. He also bet that they had been absent of the restaurant lately because he was speaking badly about him to Mr Fell.

If it wasn’t for him, he would now be living in a fancy flat, with his expenses covered for that chubby idiot. He wished he could kill that redhead bastard with a snap.

He stopped walking when a person appeared in front of him. He stood up, confused, and checked that guy’s appearance; black suit, a red sash, and a weird fly-shaped hat. His face seemed to be half rotten, and flies flied around him.

“I am Beelzebub, Lord of fliez, Leader of the Forces of Hell and Prince of Hell, and I know what you want. Revenge. To make Crowley pay a high price for hiz insolence.” He buzzed with decision. Tom felt shivers down his spine; that guy was weird, but also pretty scary. He continued. “Well, I want to kill him too. I’ve tried, but he always escapez.” He showed a small grin when the human showed interest in his words. “Do you want to make a deal with me, human?” He offered his hand to Tom, who stared at him and his hand alternatively. “Do you want to zend him to Hell?”

“… Hell yes, of course I do.” He smiled, shaking Beelzebub’s hand.

+++

That morning, Crowley woke up with a relaxed smile on his face. He was finally getting used to sleep without nightmares, with or without Aziraphale by his side. Although he was by his side that morning, as always. The angel was indeed getting used himself to sleep as a human.

He held him tightly, and left a kiss on his forehead. It had been a whole week since they lost track of Tom, and his life was starting again. He was more human as the days passed by.

Crowley let the angel sleeping their bed –because that was officially their bed now–, and got up to get in the bathroom. After a brief shower, he watered the plants, made coffee, and opened the balcony’s door to see the dawn. He was drinking his coffee, leaning on the handrail, when Aziraphale finally came out. His hair was a mess and was still wearing his tartan pyjamas. He leant beside him, and let his head fall over his shoulder. Crowley just drank more coffee, accustomed to their new level of proximity.

“Good morning, angel. How was the night?”

“It’s addictive, now I understand that you spent a whole century sleeping.” He yawned. The human grinned without remorse.

“Yeah, I’ll miss that.”

“May I?” Crowley lent him his mug, so the angel could drink a bit of coffee.

“Sure. Are you ready for another day?”

“I am, of course.” He smiled, giving back the mug. In a second, he was dressed as always and ready to go. “Although sometimes I wish we could be like this forever.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not an option now but I wish it too.” The angel covered his mouth with a hand.

“Oh, sorry dear, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know, I know. It’s okay, now I am not eternal, I can live with that.”

Crowley got back in, followed by his friend. He tried not to think about the temporality of his life; he’d rather focus on the time they still had.

+++

“Another good day of work, Crowley.” He saw Markus going out of the restaurant through the back door. He was carrying a bag of trash, and he helped him to take it to the nearest rubbish bin. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. It was a good wedding, wasn’t it?”

“Yes!” The man agreed. “The bride was pretty beautiful, and Mr Fell danced properly with her.” Crowley smirked.

“Yes. I’m happy he didn’t step on her.”

“Well, he didn’t so, be thankful.”

“I am, I am.” A fly started flying around him, and he waved it off. “Where’s Aziraphale?”

“He’s with the countability, he asked me to tell you to wait a couple of minutes.”

“Okay then. See you tomorrow.”

“See ya!” The man left the alley, and he leant on the nearest wall. He looked at his wristwatch to check the time, and the fly came back. He waved again, but it kept trying to stick to his face.

“Fucking fly, go to shit already.” He mumbled with anger. Another fly appeared then, and bothered him too. “Stupid bugs, I hate them.”

“I see it, dear friend.”

Crowley stopped waving when he heard Tom’s voice on his right. He parted the wall to see him, and he perceived another person. _Fuck_ , he thought when he recognised the other _entity_. Beelzebub was standing next to him. Crowley pointed the Lord of Hell with a nod.

“I’m sure he has offered the world to you, but believe me: he’s lying.”

“I don’t think so.” Tom smiled. He seemed a bit off; his soul should had been sold to Beelzebub. “We’ve been preparing something for you, my friend.” He put his hands up, both fist-shaped. “Choose one, and if you get right, you may be rewarded.”

“I don’t want any reward, Tom.” Although he was speaking to the human, he was looking directly to Beelzebub. He knew his ex-boss’s style, so they both were in danger. Probably, Tom was already condemned, but he still had an opportunity. He put his hands behind his back, and touched his blessed ring. If he was lucky enough, Aziraphale would come out to rescue him in just a couple of seconds.

“You’ll be surprised, Crowley.” Smiled Beelzebub, his hands also on his back. “It’ll be a good end for a… Person like you.” He crunched his nose. What did that mean?

“Crowley!” The angel came out in a hurry, and when he saw the Lord of flies, he stepped between them.” What the… Hell are you doing here, you monst-Wait.” Aziraphale looked behind him. “Isn’t him Tom?”

“Yes angel, he is.”

“But…” The angel stared at the young man. “Tom, what are you doing? Don’t you know who he is? He’s a bad person!” Tom, sick of nonsenses, opened one of his hands. It had a red bullet.

Both, ex-demon and angel, stepped forward, worried. They suspected what the human was going to do. He took a gun out of his back, crimson red. It was a demonic gun.

“You’ve earnt this end, Mr Crowley. This bullet has your name on it.” After preparing the shot, he put the gun up. Beelzebub smiled, flies spinning around his head.

“Wait, does it have my name? My _complete_ name?” Aziraphale tried to cover him, but he moved the angel away. He stared at him, looking for a hint.

“Yes, it does.” Tom smiled completely mad; he was going to kill the slim bastard once and for all. “Smile, Crowley. And say goodbye to your life.”

“With pleasure.” He grinned.

“Crowley what are you doing! Don’t!”

Tom pulled the trigger. The shot wasn’t heard, but it hit the redhead in the chest. Crowley wobble, falling in the angel’s open arms.

“No! Oh my God, don’t do this to me again!”

Beelzebub laughed, pleased, and stared the scene. Tom laughed as a maniac; he finally had his revenge. But, surprisingly, Crowley began to shake… and laugh. Aziraphale opened his mouth in surprise, and so did Tom. His eyes turned yellow, his pupils got narrower; his hair burnt on flames, getting longer and redder than before, and in a blink, Crowley was dressed in black again. His shoes were made of snake scales, and expelled fire through his mouth with a pleased moan.

“Yes!” He shouted, smoke coming out his nose. “I’m back, baby.”

“Crowley?” The redhead brushed his hair with a hand, ignoring his friend’s confusion… And the human’s, who looked at Beelzebub angrily.

“What the fuck has happened! We had a deal! You wanted to kill him!”

“That’s a tricky one, kid, but I’ll explain it for my Lord.” He grinned. Aziraphale looked at the bun the demon had now in his head, collecting part of his hair. It shined red.

He was a demon again.

He put his hand on his chest, relieved and worried at the same time. He needed some explanations, too.

“I bet you know nothing about us, but briefly: we can become demons in two ways: Once being angels and falling, or dying and becoming one for our background, so to say.”

“In his caze” Explained Beelzebub. “Lucifer, for an unknown reason, still treasures you, demon Crowley.” The mentioned demon put on a pair of sunglasses that came out of nowhere. Aziraphale sighed; he was happy for his friend, but not at all. There still a couple of pieces that did not match. “But my last attempt to make you fall didn’t succeed, and I needed an extra pawn for this match.”

“You were the shadow I saw the other day?” He nodded, pleased with the news. “I see…”

“But what fate will he face now that he’s a demon, Lord Beelzebub!” Aziraphale shouted angrily; he needed to know the danger they were facing. He was willing to run to Alpha Centauri that time if it was necessary. “What are you going to do to Crowley as a punishment!?”

“Principality Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate.” The Lord spitted every word with disgust. “Crowley’s… Whatever, I don’t care anymore.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Even though he had no more bullets, Tom pointed with his gun to Beelzebub. He was in complete panic; he was understanding nothing. His trembling hands made the Lord of Hell grin with pleasure. “What do you mean with those labels, what is Mr Fell?” Crowley itself raised a hand, smiling evilly.

“He’s a real angel, and you’ve wasted your opportunity. Learn the lesson for the next one:” His smile faded, becoming a serious expression while Aziraphale downed his glaze. He knew what was about to happen next. “Don’t make deals with demons.”

 _Snap_.

The three entities saw the human turning into a frog. With another snap, this time from Beelzebub, the frog was caged and prepared as a mail package. A bunch of black smoke flowed from the ground, surrounding the package, and made it disappear. Beelzebub stared them, and they spent a couple of seconds in complete silence.

“Well? What will you do to Crowley?”

“Nothing.” He recognised. “He turned Archangel Gabriel into a Fallen angel with your unconscious help. If your incompetence ends being useful for us, then we won’t care about what you do in your free time. And I think Heaven thinks more or less the same.”

“Really?” Smiled the angel. Beelzebub agreed, and Crowley lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

“Yes. Gabriel’s mission was to separate you, but he ended with uz, now crying on a corner, which iz very pleasant;” He smiled “and you are living together with… matching rings.” He pointed. They looked at their blessed golden rings. “So, do whatever you want; it has worked for six thousand yearz, and if it’z not broken…”

Beelzebub disappeared with a flies’ tornado, and they looked at each other again. Crowley showed a painful expression, and took his ring off. He had a burn mark on his finger.

“It seems I can’t keep being blessed, angel. Here. Thank you for all.” He landed him the ring. Aziraphale took it with caution, and sighed again. “Stop with the sighs, we are okay, and it seems we’ll be free from now on, what can go wrong?”

“Nothing, I guess… but now you don’t need me.”

“What do you mean with I don’t need you? Of course I need you! We’re friends!”

“But!” He complained “You don’t need to work in the restaurant, nor need me to sleep properly. I guess I should live in my office after all, just like I did back then with my bookshop.” He explained, putting the ring on his pocket with resignation. Crowley scratched his neck; the angel was right. They could maintain his friendship like always.

“Then this is how all of this end?” He asked. “With us seeing each other from time to time, having dinner, breakfast and all that stuff while pretending we don’t get along?”

“That’s how we’ve been since the beginning of time, Crowley.” The demon growled in disagreement.

“Do you want a bedroom for you? Okay, I’ll give you one. But I refuse giving up on our friendship, angel, we got to a non-return point, and I won’t give back the conquered land.” He hissed. “And now.” Snapping, he made the Bentley turn his lights on. “Get in the car.”

“But…”

“No buts! We’re living together, and I don’t care a shit about your babblings. Get in the car, we’re having sushi for dinner.”

Aziraphale tried to hide his happiness; his stubborn friend had given him a reason to trust in their relationship. The path they had marked didn’t seem able to collapse. He got in the car, and Queen started playing as they hit the road.

_Oh! You’re my best friend…_


End file.
